I’m not sure I want to go back to work. I’m liking this whole stay at hone mom thing this time around however I have the following concerns;
I don’t want to be financially dependent on Brent. I know this is a personal issue I have but I don’t ever want to feel like I need to rely on someone to have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I know that the work of raising children is an important job but I don’t trust Brent to view my unpaid work as equivalent in value to his work. This causes me to anticipate a lot of ‘well I make the money so I have certain expectations and make decisions’ kind of nonsense that I don’t even want to et into.
I don’t want to not work. This is tied to the item above but also, I like working. I like being productive in ways other than churning out awesome people from my crotch. However, were I to stay home, it would be unlikely that I could work for the next 4 years and then where does that leave me? Where would I work? How far behind ‘everyone else’ would I be?
I want to raise my kids and make preserves and start a community association and make art and work on projects and somehow make money in a way where I have time for all those things.
On this day:
I haven’t been to work in almost 2 weeks. I’ve been sent home by the doctor at the walk in clinic when I was too dizzy to even sit up and my own prenatal care team has recommended that I stay home due to pelvic issues (not serious but it’s made worse by sitting at a desk or standing much which basically rules out being at work).
I find I can do about one task a day, MAYBE two, before being completely wiped. Do today’s task is clean the kitchen! And if I’m up to it, make banana waffles. I try to get out once a day to stay sane but that’s not always possible. I’m up for visits!
The plus side of all this is that, even though I can’t do much at a time, I feel like I’m actually preparing for this baby, which I never got the chance to do with Bobby since he was born right before I was about to start my planned nesting vacation. I’ve already made and frozen some muffins and burritos. I’ve put together half the nursery furniture (we lost some pieces to the other stuff and they need to be found at a hardware store HOPEFULLY). I got some stuff framed so some of the walls are less bare. Stuff like that. It’s nice.
So I’ve sent in my extended leave paperwork and emailed the right people but I haven’t really heard back from anyone. I guess if there was a problem they’d be calling me and saying stuff like "Why aren’t you at work?"
On this day:
Other than a select few coworkers who I have added to my facebook, no one at work knows I’m pregnant.
My plan all along was to not say anything and see what people will do/say when it becomes obvious that I’m getting bigger and people aren’t sure whether or not I’m pregnant. So far nothing really came of it but there have been two recent developments.
1- Last Friday, Brent Bobby and I went out for lunch and there was a table of my coworkers nearby at the same restaurant. 2 of them know I’m pregnant and the other 6 don’t. After I left, 2 women started whispering and asked one of my friends if I was pregnant. She knows about my plan and said something like "I don’t know… but don’t ASK her that!" I’m assuming a speculative conversation ensued.
2- Today, a woman came up to me, put her hand on my belly and asked if it was a boy or a girl. This is a woman I see EVERY DAY and whom I have obviously not made an announcement to. The other coworker who witnessed this looked horrified. I said "What the HELL???" Because even if I had announced that I was pregnant, touching me like that is SO NOT OK. She turned all red but was unconvinced and said ‘You won’t say it now, but sooner or later it will come out" This very same woman asked one of my coworkers if I was pregnant on the day right after I found out for myself. I think she’s a witch…
I wonder how much longer I can keep this going…
On this day:
My work place finally got hip to the idea of a Social Committee and I’m a part of it! I’ve taken it upon myself to have some killer suggestions (a parade and monthly pizza days for example) and it got me to thinking…
What goes on at YOUR work (or at previous places of employment) that you think is really great? And what goes on that really sucks? , I know you have a peeve for sure…
On this day:
So my best friend is moving back to town/the country this month. It’s blowing my fucking mind. I’m so used to seeing her for a week here or there in a year and communicating via blogging and email and somewhat over the phone. I can’t imagine what it will be like for he to actually be here. Maybe we’ll just email each other for the first month to ease into it…
Work has been ok so far. I feel fine about being there but the second I walk out the door to go home I’m all "GET OUT OF MY WAY I HAVE A BABY TO PICK UP" and I will the bus driver to speed the whole way home and ignore red lights. SO GOOD that I don’t drive to work!
Ok so here’s a funny story. I have these gorgeous cut glass double flared plugs and I put them in… I dunno, over a month ago anyways. They were a little hard to get in but my ears are stretchy so with a little lube I got them in. Then when I tried to take them out I couldn’t! My ears had lost their stretch and the flares were just that touch too big. So I just left them in. Luckily they go with every outfit. I could move them around enough to keep everything clean so that wasn’t an issue but yesterday I had visions of wanting to take them out and having to have my lobes cut. So I decided to just slowly work them out over the whole evening and all of today and first thing this morning they popped out.
I have vowed never to put them in again.
You know what? That story isn’t very interesting.
I actually have a few excellent post ideas right now but I do not have the energy to dedicate to them that they require to be truly excellent. But I will post the topics:
-the time my ex-boyfriend kidnapped my cat Percy and tried to blame Brent for her disappearance
-when my mom signed me up for acting lessons
-when my mom signed me up for skating lessons
-when I really liked this guy but told his friends I didn’t and he never called me again
On this day:
In 2008 – I talk about things that come out of my bagingo (actually, just a little dude)
In 2007 –
In 2006 –
In 2005 –