female action-figure doll, arms raised slightly above head
a big blob of putty
The putty is bouncing all around the doll extolling it’s virtues:
The doll is super stoked that this putty wants to join up with her. She catches the putty in her arms and they begin to go places together.
But then *doom sounds* the putty starts to reveal the other part of it’s nature. It’s softens and begins it’s process of melting down.
The doll is optimistic. She can support the putty for a short while, until it gathers itself again. But the putty opts not to exert any effort to improve this combined situation and eventually oozes everywhere all over the doll and all over everything and her whole world is immobilized by the gloop.
-dandelion root (to tincture)
-red raspberry leaves (to dry)
-cut compost, topsoil and manure into garden bed
-plant the 3 sisters
People say it all the time.
Someone I recently met expressed to me their frustration about this local (to North America, as far as I know) saying/custom/practice. It seems that often, this is said without actually wanting to know how a person is doing. Like, it’s just the thing you say and don’t really expect an answer other than “Fine, and you?” I felt totally on-board with this person’s assessment and thought to myself “I surely never do this”.
But then, in the weeks that passed, I noticed that I do.
More interestingly, I noticed that I do it when I’m uncomfortable or maybe more accurately, unsure, in some way and my “How are you?” becomes shorthand for, “I’m not sure what your energy is right now, and I’d like some kind of verbal indication so I can know how to proceed with this interaction”.
I think that since many people interpret this shorthand as a platitude, I should practice my way toward asking more completely for the information I’m after. I think another part of it is to practice reading non-verbal cues more accurately. And I think part of this practice must also include answering the question fully, when asked of me, if the context is appropriate. I’m not going to tell some random dude at work about my existential crisis, for example. But maybe I would say that I’m feeling on top of my game when it comes to my current projects at the office.
In which ways are you receptive to people’s inquisitiveness about how you are doing? Which approaches turn you away from sharing?
On this day:
…the part where I talk about the importance of this trip I took with Shawn to Vancouver.
My history of vacations is that they have either been me tagging along with my parents — the last one being in 1999 as a “Well, I’m going to die soon…” trip planned by my dad — or have been the kind where I’m broke and staying with relatives or friends or am pregnant or have kids.
This was my first ever adult vacation, where I went and did what I wanted to do and that is a Big Deal to me. I mean, it wasn’t just what I wanted to do, Shawn was traveling with me so he had equal input, but that’s a less thrilling way of telling the same story.
I know that I can get into a super over-planner mode and that once I start, I will not stop until every single minute is planned and I’ve plotted best and alternate routes and have decided where the rest-stops will be and where we should eat and and and I did not even want to go there. We struck a deal: I would diligently scour airfare and get the best flights and Shawn would take care of all of the logistics on arrival.
I had a small wishlist:
-hug a giant tree
-go in the mountains
-go to Wreck beach
During our time there, we did all these things, and more exciting opportunities unfolded and, as we made certain choices, some opportunities were lost and that is the nature of choice. It means that we need to go back to do the things we missed out on!
In case you couldn’t tell from in the captions of the photos, every time I would see a mountain, I would point and shout MOUNTAIN! I am sure that it was charming.
Obviously, I live tweeted/instagrammed/facebooked the entire thing. If you check that out, you will see entirely different photos and anecdotes than what you see here.
Things I didn’t get photos of but were super important to me as experiences:
- Biking through the city, it is city just regular city. But then I would look up ahead and there was what seemed to be a pop-up forest! Like, boring buildings to either side and then the street I was on suddenly starts having these giant giant trees flanking it and they block out all light and I need to sing the words “Magical Fo-Rest!!!!” the entire time I was biking though it. There are many streets like this.
- Being in the ocean, up to my nose, being one with the waves and facing the shore and my arms were being a part of the surface of the water and I would feel the suck-back because a wave was coming up behind me and it would lift me up and just BLOOP out from my arms and continue toward the shore and it felt like I had the power to shoot giant waves out from my soul and toward the land.
- Experiencing the sunset at Wreck Beach for the first time. I was sitting naked in the sand, reclining on a giant log, facing the ocean and distant mountains. There were a bunch of people who had been there for a while already, playing instruments, chatting, and having a good time. As the sun began to set, everyone started playing their music together, while facing the sun. It felt to me like they were playing for the sun itself. The music was softer and calm but as the sun got more red and the sliver remaining got smaller, the music intensified, and people all over the beach made joyful, exuberant exclamations. As that sliver disappeared, people cheered and clapped and shouted, the music reached it’s climax and then subsided. I declared this to be The Perfect Place.
- I realize that most of these have to do with the ocean… I was swimming with real live seals! Shawn and I went to the beach on our last full day and, on our first swim that day, there were two seals checking us out about 10 metres away from us. They seemed just as curious and just as reluctant to get closer as we were. They made seal noises — we pretended to make seal noises. They are my Seal Friends.
This trip will have forever changed me. I learned some important things about myself (yet another post to make), I experienced things outside of my already-lived experience, and I learned new and important ways to be with my partner. Now I’m excited about future travels!
On this day:
In 2012 – delayed gratification
In 2010 – yeah…. access to bike paths was not my impediment
In 2009 – a different kind of vacation
In 2007 – Those things still annoy me – the bike thing less so, maybe only 13%
In 2006 – I’m really hungry right now and seeing this dinner I made is NOT helping.