Paddle Splash Yay!

I’ve been making it through my life list items at a pretty good pace. I think I need to revisit and edit the list. Some things are pretty vague and like, I don’t even know how to accomplish them. For example “Allow myself to be reckless” . That is not a tangible thing I can do to check off my list, so I’ll need to think of actual things I can do to accomplish my goals and make some amendments.

All this to say that another life-list item has been accomplished!

18. Go canoeing

The weather has been beautiful lately and the kids have really been enjoying the time we’ve spent at Meech Lake. I had been thinking about renting a canoe and taking them out and thanks to Elizabeth I learned that MEC has really well-priced rentals that include all the needed gear. (Honestly – so fabulous, I really recommend renting any gear you need from them). We picked up our canoe and gear the evening before our rental and had a fun time driving home with a canoe on our car.

The next morning, we packed up our supplies and headed for a short drive to the lake and to our first family paddling adventure! I had canoed only very little and this was just a nice introductory trip for me. The kids did not have paddles of their own, which was probably a good thing, but Bobby did say he wants to paddle with Shawn next time.

As we loaded the car, the kids pretended to drive.

As we loaded the car, the kids pretended to drive.

The next morning, we packed up our supplies and headed for a short drive to the lake and to our first family paddling adventure! I had canoed only very little and this was just a nice introductory trip for me. The kids did not have paddles of their own, which was probably a good thing, but Bobby did say he wants to paddle with Shawn next time.

about to head out on the lake

Bobby and Molly, just before getting into the canoe.

Bobby was almost immediately comfortable. It took Molly a while to get used to the motions of the boat and how people’s movements affected it. While we paddled we saw people at their cottages, excited dogs and a really huge snake sunning on someone’s dock. As we were rounding a point to go take our first land-break, we happened across two young bucks having a drink.

oh dear

This is as close as we got before they moved back under the cover of trees. As we moved away, they came back to the water.

We stopped the canoe at the mouth of an inlet, through which we would need to do a small portage. We took out our gear and set up for a picnic.

We met this frog-friend while setting up our picnic.

We met this frog-friend while setting up our picnic.

A little dog was playing in the water near to us and Molly decided that she was a Water Dog and ran along the dog's route, and chatted with the dog's people.

A little dog was playing in the water near to us and Molly decided that she was a Water Dog and ran along the dog’s route, and chatted with the dog’s people.

We got into the inlet and paddled to our usual spot at Meech. We unsuccessfully set up a fort to keep the spiders and ants off us, we swam in the pond, learned about pooping in the woods, and had a snuggle on our picnic blanket before heading back to our starting point.

By the time we were halfway back, the kids were so tired/comfortable in the canoe, that they just fell right asleep.

I got to take a paddle break while The Motor was still paddling.

I got to take a paddle break while The Motor was still paddling.

I love the combination of quiet peacefulness, beautiful nature, physical activity, and teamwork that this little day trip involved. We decided to stop at the Chelsea Pub for dinner and it was the perfect spots for all of us to sit outside and enjoy nice food and company, and for some of us to get our sillies out.

I think this has been the real big spark in my want to do more camping and do some canoe camping and oh my goodness this plus my bike hoarding habit will be A Problem.

On this day:

In 2013 – oh yes yes yes
In 2011 – I got a beautiful bike – our time together was too short
In 2007 – I need to remember to use chipotle in my cooking more often.
In 2006 – I met my uncle for the first time


Moving away from entitlement.

Yesterday, I took Bobby to the local toy store to choose something to buy with the money he received for his birthday. I showed him how he could determine what he could afford and gave him the usual guidelines of “nothing with weapons or about fighting”. He took his time and finally decided on a lego set with the caveat that any weapon pieces would be surrendered to me.

While we were at the store, he saw some more expensive lego sets that he was really excited about and was disappointed that he didn’t have enough money for them. We briefly talked about the idea that he could do some supplementary work around the house to earn some money to save for the lego set he wanted.

Once home, he spent a couple hours making the set and was feeling super accomplished about it.

Finished Lego

 

Later that day, while we were having dinner, Bobby again brought up the fact of his disappointment. We talked about doing work around the home and he said he’d like to do that. I asked him what type of work he would like to do. He said Laundry! We agreed that he’d do the household laundry of 4 separate occasions, each occasion comprising of 4 tasks:

  1. bringing the laundry to the basement
  2. washing all the clothes
  3. drying all the clothes
  4. folding all the clothes

Today we got started! Shawn made a great chart so Bobby can check things off during the process. Currently, all the laundry is in the basement. There’s one load in the wash and one load in the dryer and one load left to be washed.

Bobbys chart

Bobby is really interested in learning what to do step by step. He gets excited about finding a way to reach the wet clothes out of the bottom of the washer and timing the pour of laundry detergent. He’s almost memorized all the settings by his second load.

I’ll be happy if the laundry all gets sorted by user let alone totally folded.

On this day:

In 2009 – I’ve actually never had a fluffernutter
In 2007 – feminism! RAWR!!!!
In 2006 – “How to you get an intangible sense back into your life?”
In 2005 – Doing the math


fertility and infertility

Nearly a year ago, I had a tubal ligation (summarized in ONE TWO THREE parts). I was fortunate that I had this as a birth control option, and that it was covered by my provincial health care plan. I paid not one cent for this (other than paying my taxes because I’m a pro-taxation person). I had lots of really great reasons for doing this:

– I have two wonderful children
– Pregnancy is hard on me in many ways, the most significant being severe depression
– IUD and chemical birth control don’t work for me, I don’t want to rely solely on barrier methods

ETC

Even though this is 100% what I wanted, I still struggle with the fact that I am now infertile.
-Now and then, I get the baby rabies, although it’s definitely not as intense or long-lasting as back when I was trying to conceive.
-My partner speaks about wanting kids someday and we have the kind of relationship that allows him the space to pursue this but part of me is all I want to help you do this and my first instinct on that is Make A Baby In Me but there are so many other options so after feeling sad for a day I move on.
-I’m in a situation where having the type of birth I had wanted would be fully supported and I feel like I missed out on what could have been a more amazing experience.

For the past few days, I’ve had feelings of nausea whenever I ate. I thought to myself, there is a chance the tubal ligation didn’t fully work. There’s no way to test it other than waiting to see if I ever become pregnant again. And then I realized that I haven’t taken my B-12 since I moved in September and my old anemia symptoms are coming back.

I don’t regret the choice I made to have this surgery, but sometimes I still feel like I’m grieving something. That’s ok. That’s making real choices in life.

On this day:

In 2008 – “that hot chocolate is better than average sex”
In 2007 – that time I was taking care of my MIL’s dogs while pregnant and being barely able to function
In 2006 – I still dig that alarm clock


Sustainability.

I spent so many years being pretty much dormant. I tried to fill the emptiness in my life with hobbies that were invariably short-lived. I thought I needed to produce THINGS to feel fulfilled and accomplished. But really, I just need to be growing as a person.

“Just” makes it seem simple but it’s not. It’s difficult to balance the need to be happy and content with where I am against the world around me and my inner desire working to push me into some kind of evolution. It seems anytime I take stock and think to myself that I’m pleased with where I am, something changes and I need to readjust and learn and practice and accept and be patient and take charge and relax and be diligent. So many things! I can’t tackle all things in the same ways that I have known. It’s sometimes unhealthy and it’s often quite draining. I need to focus my strengths where they will be best-suited and work on my weaknesses at a pace that doesn’t deplete me.

I want to focus on:

-finding a useful and enjoyable place within my new community

-making sure to spend good time with my good friends

-growing my kids into beings of love and kindness and social conscience while engaging them at their level and challenging them in pertinent ways

-letting go of my need for external validation

I think I’ve been over-reaching and I’ve needed to step back and assess what is truly important for me right now. The list above is the foundation I will need to be able to reach farther in the future.

On this day:

In 2007 – this post about whether my sister is good or evil makes me smirk ❤
In 2006 – catsup
In 2005 – MURDER!


Flying

Shawn was over this weekend and Molly decided she needed to fly. I think she could do this all day.

Molly flying with Shawn from Tiana Dargent on Vimeo.

She is super comfortable in her body and fine with being flipped over and thrown about. Bobby holds back a lot more. It’s a character difference that I knew about them pretty early on. Bobby still likes to be up in the air and such but he needs way more reassurance and contact points to feel stable.

On this day:

In 2012 – Molly 1.1
In 2011 – Molly 0.1
In 2008 – gigantic bras
In 2006 – dissecting the term ‘pro-life’
In 2005 – I will never ever have kids


The evolving nature of relationships

Brent and I will always be tied together by our kids. Our goals for parenting are fairly similar even if our methods differ. I think we are both united in sadness that this is difficult on the kids, even though I think it’s going pretty well for them, all things considered.

It’s weird for me, to be trying to navigate this change in our relationship. Obviously, I want to have a friendly and supportive relationship together, but I know that I have a lot of unresolved issues, that really won’t get resolved. I need time and space to move beyond them but I can’t always be afforded that because we NEED to come together on things involving the kids. So it will take more time, and that’s just fine because in the long run, the most important thing is to make things good for the kids, and we are both focusing on that.

On this day:

In 2011 – oh clippo!
In 2007 – numb-hand
In 2006 – that’s strange, I NEVER am too hot…
In 2005 – nothing of interest

 


I’ve been up since five in the morning.

Both the kids were in my bed, scraping me with their toes, telling me they wanted crackers, asking me to go fetch them things.

I said I wouldn’t do any of it until my alarm went off at six thirty.

We tumbled around in a heap of snuggles, hugs, and pointy bits. We told each other the ‘I love you forever’ but from the book.

We got all kinds of love into our day before it was even meant to start. And there was no stress to get out the door in the morning. I need to remember this in the future. They won’t always be interrupting my sleep so I need to take that time as a gift instead of grouching my way through it.

On this day

In 2009 – going on a date with my father in law (p.s. I love going to this kind of gala stuff. Invite me!)
In 2007 – hahaha! I was such a fool! The next time I felt great was after giving birth.
In 2006 –
In 2005 – The story of how I met Brent and the first instance of my party lootbag tradition