not the same

I’m really enjoying writing in my paper journal lately. It’s so soothing and the introspection feels more intense than when I write here.

And also I’m less interested in what people think of my introspection lately.

So that’s what’s up with my blogging slump. As the weather continues to warm up, I’m sure to start posting about adventures and such.

I like how things don’t always have to be the same.


On this day:

In 2011 – invention
In 2007 – oh see!!! my love of notebooks!
In 2006 – planning
In 2005 – I got a gmail account


Shave (but no hair cut)

Well last night I went to a punk show in a barbershop and I suddenly had the urge to get a face-shave. One of the barbers was game to do it after the show and IT WAS JUST THE BEST.

Woman in a barber's chair, having a straight-razor shave.

It was Dead. Fucking. Sexy. I smelled so good after I was wishing I had a clone so I could make out with myself.

Here’s a little insta video my roomie made.

What fun it was to gender play and have a little dudely luxury!

On this day:

In 2009 – a frustrated moment
In 2005 – alone time

Red Flags

So I have a first date coming up, and yesterday my friends were hanging with me and were all “Lemme see the OKC” and then we looked up the “unacceptable answers” section and. Well… This should be interesting.

Things they won’t like about me:

-I don’t shave my legs unless I feel like it (maybe twice a year)
-I’m not into racist jokes
-I’m not into eugenics
-I have opinions that are important to me
-I’d burn flags before I’d burn books (which is actually not true because I don’t really have flags at my disposal but wow. So. Many. Books.)
-I’m not into guns except for their use in hunting for food purposes.

On this day:

In 2012 – I like weird things
In 2008 – Pregnant with Bobby, eating nothing but garlic bread, pie, and slushies.
In 2006 – That soup is so good. I need to make it again.

Marginalize Abusers

On Friday, I went to a fun dance party that I had never been to before. About halfway into the night, I noticed that this person I have no good feelings for was present and I was pretty upset. Mostly because it was the first time we’d run into each other since then and I just didn’t have some kind of pre-planned emotional reaction.  In that moment, the few people I knew were elsewhere and I was just dancing on my own and basically my whole body turned to *GROAN*.

And I had had some drinks and I was just… unhappy. And I found my date and gave him a brief go-over. He was sweet and asked if I wanted to leave but I said I was fine and I had another drink and just kept a buffer.

But, as the night wore on and I found myself being preoccupied with NOT having fun I started to think more about it like this: Fuck that dude. If either of us is going to feel uncomfortable in a place we are both occupying, it sure as fuck is not going to be ME.


And I totally appreciate the support of maybe I’d want to leave, but that’s just not how I roll. I want to live in a culture where people who violate consent are the ones who feel awful and awkward and marginalized.

On this day:

In 2008 – I was in Italy
In 2007 – I lost my title of Foosball champion
In 2006 – My dead-dad’s website

I feel like I am a gift.

I am gingerly unwrapped, with patience and care.

My bow is untied and placed gently aside.
The tape is lifted without any tearing.
My paper is removed then firmly folded down.

Everything that was found within is gathered up and celebrated.


On this day:

In 2014 – A reminder of where I can be more efficient
In 2011 – New Sibling Anxiety
In 2007 – I want to know what makes you fart
In 2006 – My adoration of Livejournal
In 2005 – Sometimes I feel like a spectator to my own life

Reasons why I’ve swiped left

swipe left


  • All your photos are group photos
  • You are wearing any amount of camouflage print
  • Your profile photo features a car
  • You are wearing sports attire when not doing sports
  • You use the phrase “like-minded” without explaining in which ways (I’ll assume it’s horrible)
  • All your photos are you doing sports
  • Your first photo is of your kid(s)
  • Your first photo is of your pet(s)
  • You are using a gun
  • No photo at all
  • All your photos are from on vacation
  • You state that you are a nice person – hint, if you have to say it, you probably aren’t.
  • You are posing with a famous or hot person for your own vanity
  • You are using a photo from within the gym

On this day:


Spreading my roots

I write here on this blog.

I write a different version of the same things on Ello (all truths, but focusing on different aspects).

I feed things from both sources to my Livejournal, and Facebook, and Twitter.

I get different rewards from each space and I like that what I share gets varied feedback, depending on the context. That’s not even considering how all these things influence conversations, online and in-person, with the people in my life.


I’m spending a lot of time thinking about the ways that I’m letting go. There are things that I don’t need to worry about. There are things I can focus on that are productive and keep me going and enrich my life.

Everything I’m writing and pondering lately is just a trial, trying out new ideas and new ways to perceive. Nothing feels concrete and that’s a good place for me to be right now. All my things are in motion, they always have been, the stress of trying to keep things static is leaving me.

I’m spreading my roots out far and wide, making lots of little connections that support me and finding joy within them all.


This is a post about how I write about nothing. All I am writing lately are wisps of what passes through my mind before dissolving into the air.


On this day:

In 2010 – I did not go snow-shoeing until 4 years later
In 2008 – I hate televised sports and related media. Also betrayal.
In 2007 – A bunch of great recipes. MIAM MIAM Why don’t I cook anymore???
In 2006 – Pus is why I don’t drink dairy (except in coffee, it magically kills pus)