A conversation that never ends.Posted: November 4, 2014
I made some tweets using the #beenrapedneverreported hashtag. I was terrified to do the first one. And then the next day I did three more.
My world didn’t explode, but I also didn’t cross-post them to Facebook, as I usually do.
I’m concerned about backlash from the person they reference, but also, these are all undeniably true occurrences. I was reading a post about emotional abuse just moments ago and many of the ways to tell if you are being emotionally abused applied to our relationship. Here are the applicable ones (bold indicates what I relate to):
Abusive Expectations – Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
Constant Chaos – Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
Rejecting – Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
Denying – Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
Emotional Blackmail – Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
Invalidation – Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
Isolating – Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
Minimizing – A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
Unpredictable Responses – Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
I can’t find a link to the original source. I’ll update if I find it.
Because he wouldn’t let me sleep until I stopped saying no. #BeenRapedNeverReported
— Tiana Dargent (@tianadargent) November 1, 2014
Because he threatened suicide, I didn’t want to be ‘responsible’ for it. #BeenRapedNeverReported
— Tiana Dargent (@tianadargent) November 2, 2014