On The AgendaPosted: April 2, 2014
I have been working hard to find that right balance in my life; the right amount of socializing and alone time.
I love to say yes to things that are exciting, or interesting, or informative. Sometimes a bunch of said things are happening ALL AT ONCE OMG YAY! but as I love through it I get burnt out. I am not excited about these things and I dread them and want to live in my bed for a day or two.
Other times, I make sure not to plan anything, to give myself the space to recharge but then I get lonely and feel isolated and nobody-likes-me-and-there’s-nothing-interesting-happening-and-why-would-I-even-wear-anything-other-than-the-same-sweatpants-I’ve-had-on-all-week?
This is a problem I’ve identified over and over in my life and have been trying to ‘work on it’ to varying degrees of success for some time. I feel like I’m finally coming to a nice balance and I want to put out how I’ve done so far, and steps I still want to take.
Things that have worked:
- I don’t make plans with people because I feel like I “should” but do if I feel like I want to.
- Related to the above: If I have made efforts to spend time with friends and they can not give me that time, I leave the ball in their court. They are in charge of their priorities and I’m not going to stress about it.
- I quit volunteering for organizations that don’t utilize my energy in productive ways.
- I co-organize regular events in my home. They are the same events and run about once every 5 weeks and so are easy to plan and organize after the first few were done. It’s low-stress and a nice way to socialize within specific event-specific boundaries.
- I leave some space in my schedule for down-time.
- Really think about what are tasks that are NECESSARY
I was thinking today that I have been on a mostly-good stretch for a couple weeks now and there are only a few little things that I would have changed and so my thoughts have turned to how I can make those specific situations better for me.
One of the things I need to work on is gracefully leaving situations that I’m just Done With, this is easy in some circumstances (like, I can leave a party, no problem) and more difficult with others (telling unexpected visitors that they need to leave now, or maybe I could just go hide in my room until my housemates deal with that? I don’t know).
Another thing I was thinking about was Shawn and his agenda. If he doesn’t enter his obligations in there, they get forgotten and I rib him about it sometimes. But I shouldn’t do that. I mean, I do all my scheduling via my phone’s calendar. It puts all the events I confirm via facebook, and my google calendar, and my work calendar. It’s so handy! But I need to look at my time spent a bit more analytically. I’d love to get a really real paper agenda and write in the things I actually do and also to note in there any time that I am feeling like it is just TOO MUCH (things that feel like chores instead of pleasures) and also to note when I am feeling too isolated.
I like this idea. It MAY have to do with the idea of having a beautiful, colour-coded archive of how I spend my time… but I also think it would be quite the useful tool.
What do you do to achieve a good balance in your life? What are your metrics for ‘balance’ anyway?
On this day:
In 2012 – this post kind of illustrates one of my overwhelmed times
In 2008 – I should more often make crepes
In 2007 – proof that I used to be an avid gardener
In 2006 – “I also noticed that I’m practically incapable of remembering the names of characters in movies unless their names are repeated incessantly.”
In 2005 – really nothing interesting