I spent so many years being pretty much dormant. I tried to fill the emptiness in my life with hobbies that were invariably short-lived. I thought I needed to produce THINGS to feel fulfilled and accomplished. But really, I just need to be growing as a person.
“Just” makes it seem simple but it’s not. It’s difficult to balance the need to be happy and content with where I am against the world around me and my inner desire working to push me into some kind of evolution. It seems anytime I take stock and think to myself that I’m pleased with where I am, something changes and I need to readjust and learn and practice and accept and be patient and take charge and relax and be diligent. So many things! I can’t tackle all things in the same ways that I have known. It’s sometimes unhealthy and it’s often quite draining. I need to focus my strengths where they will be best-suited and work on my weaknesses at a pace that doesn’t deplete me.
I want to focus on:
-finding a useful and enjoyable place within my new community
-making sure to spend good time with my good friends
-growing my kids into beings of love and kindness and social conscience while engaging them at their level and challenging them in pertinent ways
-letting go of my need for external validation
I think I’ve been over-reaching and I’ve needed to step back and assess what is truly important for me right now. The list above is the foundation I will need to be able to reach farther in the future.
On this day: