I’m totally floating right now.

I’ve written before about posing for life drawing workshops and how much I got out of it. It helped me with body confidence and with communication and really helped me to grow in ways other pastimes haven’t. But lately, I just haven’t been into it. I’ve worked for pretty much all the groups (that I can, some run at times that don’t work for me) and I feel like I’ve accomplished all that I can, or all that I care to, on that track.

The last few times I worked for groups, I was mostly just going through the motions. I didn’t feel like I was excelling, or growing or anything like that. I was just doing. I was bored. I think I’m done with it.

Last night, a local artist whose work I totally love came over and took some photos of me to use as reference. THAT was fun. It was pretty simple and it really just amounted to sitting in a chair in my room and giving lots of shots and angles. I think what I liked about it was that I got pretty much continuous verbal feedback. Lots of “your hair is so awesome!” and “your face has lots of good lines” and some “your hand looks so weird like that” and I really dug it. I mean, it feels good when someone tells me I’m good looking. What an ego boost! But I compare this to drawing groups, they are very silent and if they talk, it’s to each other and it’s kind of lonely for me. I mean, obviously I have to hold still and can’t really be chatting, so it’s just the nature of what it is.

I know that I am not an artist, but I love being involved in art and this was so great and I want to find more ways to be involved.

On this day:

In 2007 – homophobia in the Ottawa music scene
In 2006 – epic
In 2005 – happy about an internet quiz – life’s little victories

2 Comments on “I’m totally floating right now.”

  1. t says:

    2 thoughts

    1) have you modeled for sculptures? I had a transformational experience with it when I was in my 20’s in New Orleans. They were 8 women sculptors.

    2) I have always thought of you as an artist. Both talented and skilled, so that last line threw me.

    • Tiana says:

      I haven’t modeled for sculptors. I wonder if there is such opportunity in this town.I modeled for my favorite life-drawing group (other than the one we run) and it renewed my interest in it. I was offered two other jobs through it and got lots of great feedback.

      I guess it matters with whom I am working!

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