Rapists are all over the place.

This came through my news feed not too long ago.

Everyone around me will move on. Everyone. It is and forever will be my experience, not theirs. It will also forever be his experience, regardless of how he chooses to interpret it.


This along with a conversation with Shawn that I was having last week, and the general deluge of rapes happening just makes me wonder.

Do people think there is a small number of men who go around raping hundreds of women? REALLY?

The numbers for reported rapes and sexual assaults fluctuates in the area of 1 in 4 women in North America. REPORTED. The ones that are reported are the ones where the victim probably feels confident that something can actually be done about it. We can all take our heads out of the sand and acknowledge that there are heavy incentives to not report.

So how many of the men, husbands, brothers, fathers, friends, neighbours (on and on) who walk among us are rapists? Lots of them. They aren’t (just) the creepy guys hanging outside the liquor store, they are (more often) your friends who are making sure you ‘get home safe’. They aren’t (just) the stranger who breaks into your house in the night, they are (more often) your husbands sleeping next to you, wanting to have what they think they are entitled to. They aren’t (just) the guys who go around picking up call girls in the wee hours, they are (more often) those cute guys in that hip place who say all the right things and seem so charming.

There’s probably a rapist on the bus/train/plane you are on.
There’s probably a rapist in your office.
There’s probably a rapist doing his shopping in the next aisle.
I am happy that the stories of so many victims are seeing the light of day. Thank you internet. Thank you alternative media. This helps victims heal and share and bond and stand strong together.

I want to see more call outs. I want men to think back and reflect on their past actions. We are all victims of rape culture. Men can choose to stop being rapists. It’s easier to make that choice if they know we see them for what they are.


On this day:

In 2012 – living lean
In 2009 – Dartmouth
In 2007 – a boring story about not sleeping
In 2005 – I saw a movie one time


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