Snap Judgements

In the near future, I will write about my Sterilization Celebration and my tubal ligation surgery. As it stands I’m still recovering (was getting surgery yesterday) and want to wait a little before writing that out.

Instead, I want to write about something that has come up in my conversations with several people in the last two weeks.

It takes me a while to figure people out. Sure there’s the rare person that I instantly feel a super great connection with or whom I immediately feel might be the devil. But really, I generally need to hang out with someone a few times, in a few different situations, to really be able to assess them.

I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. If ultimately, it’s someone I wouldn’t want to spend time with, was the time I did spend wasted? Or was that time well spent because I gave it a try and made an informed decision based on their character? I must admit, taking the time to learn about people has taught me a lot about what I think about myself and about the world (my community and society I guess). So in that sense, I would say it’s time well spent.

Are people who can get a quick sense of people getting a full picture or are they just going on gut instinct?

I’d like to be able to really GET people more quickly. How does one increase their skill in this area?

How do you judge character? What traits or world-views are deal breakers when it come to people with whom you would spend your time?

On this day:

In 2007 – informed consent
In 2006 -on being an interrupter
In 2005 – something about voting and petitions


4 Comments on “Snap Judgements”

  1. Ms. Lia says:

    I am exactly like you and have spoken about the same want!

  2. KG says:

    I go by a number of things. How the person treats/speaks of others, if they have a good sense of humour, how they react in a bad situation, if they’re inspiring/if I can inspire them, and if their morals are equal to or better than mine.

    Wishing you a speedy recovery.

  3. Eric says:

    I think I need something fairly quickly to hang my understanding of a person on — some inkling of their character, the best sort of which is probably something they like about being themselves, often with some noticeable glee. Getting that hook does make it a lot easier for me to like them in the moment and get to figure them out more and get a sense of how I would like them in my life (or not). Not getting that hook can make even the nicest person kind of inscrutable to me and make me a lot less comfortable. I’d love to understand people better and faster, for reasons including that.

    I hope you have a smooth and speedy recovery.

  4. T says:

    I’m opinionated, have great deductive reasoning skills and great instincts so I have to be careful NOT to judge a person to quickly or harshly. It’s also good for me to be forgiving and give people a 2nd chance, while still maintaining a healthy boundary.

    As for how to develop those things- the “listen to your gut” line works- listen to how your physical body reacts to a person or what a person is saying or doing. The more you respect that and your deductive reasoning skills the stronger they become.

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