My time is valuable and you need to respect that.Posted: June 22, 2012
I don’t believe in the whole “cry it out” thing when it comes to babies and toddlers. I’m not going to write about the reasons why. It’s pretty well summed up in this great post by Annie at PhD in Parenting. This parenting philosophy comes with time and commitment requirements. As with Bobby, at this age, Molly only falls asleep without crying when I hold, nurse and soothe her to sleep in an environment free of distractions (And for the record, Bobby has been falling asleep on his own after a couple of stories for two years now). For us, that is our living room. It’s where she spends the most time and doesn’t have new and interesting things to look at.
For me, this means that until Molly is asleep (because when she is awake she is ALL OVER ME lately) I don’t get time for the things I HAVE to do nor for the things I WANT to do. I COULD toss her into Brent’s arms and go see a movie but for us, that is the WRONG thing to do. I know that I am making this choice and my personal time being limited is the consequence. I do however feel that the people who spend time in my home have a requirement to respect this choice and do whatever they can to facilitate it.
So what does this mean? This means, if you are in my home when I am trying to help Molly fall asleep;
- don’t walk back and forth in front of us
- don’t talk to me!
- don’t watch a show and laugh at it
- don’t talk to Molly!
- don’t start whispering, because that’s no better
- don’t decide that is the time to let the dogs out of the house
- don’t prepare yourself a snack in the adjoining room that has no partition
- don’t whistle
- don’t come in and out of the house
- don’t just stand nearby in that way that is palpable
The list of examples could go on. Imagine if someone was doing all these things right next to you while you were trying to fall asleep! Don’t all people need a nice, sooting and relaxing environment?
So this is what you should do. If you must be in the same room, be silent and relatively motionless. This is easy. Read a book. In your head. If you have stuff to do all over the place, too bad. Wait 20 minutes. This is where we live with our family and that is my priority, even if you evenly guest, even if it’s SUPER IMPORTANT. Because the longer you do things that prevent Molly from sleeping, the more you are saying TO ME: “Your time is not valuable”
On this day:
In 2008 – Brent writes about me giving birth.. a little (he did a more in-depth post a few days later)
In 2007 – I really like this post. I didn’t even know hipsters were a ‘thing’ as long ago as 2007 HA!