Surprise from the past

I went hunting in the basest for my old sketchbooks from school. I know I did great work in Doug’s class but I can’t find those books. What DID I find? The old diary that Sarah and I used to send between us. Remember that post about how I’m past my peak of smartness? So most of this was written back when I was feeling so insightful and now that I read it, I realize that I just didn’t know much about life beforehand.

Doesn’t it make SENSE that the older you get the less you need to be introspective and analytical since hopefully, you know your shit? Well that’s the impression I get looking back on my writings. I still have the same kind of thoughts, but they just don’t feel as poignant to me. They don’t seem astoundingly revelatory. They just seem like a matter of course.

And then there’s these gems:

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This one is EXACTLY how I told Brent I had an abortion. We were talking about hospital stays. I’m SMOOTH.

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When I tell people my ENTIRE apartment was around 200 square feet, the don’t tend to believe me. This was the layout. The bed was on stilts (like a bunk bed, but with no lower bed so I had furniture under it). The kitchen has a mini sink, a small fridge and an apartment sized stove. The oven and fridge could not be opened all the way. There was about 1/2″ of counter on either side of the sink and that’s it. The toilet was installed at an angle because if it were straight, it would be touching the bathroom sink. It was actually one of the most liberating times of my life.

On this day:

In 2009 -babies!
In 2008 – snowed in
In 2006 – crotch wax
In 2005 – I can’t believe I used to go tanning

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2 Comments on “Surprise from the past”

  1. Jeff says:

    When you talk about these entries being from the past, I was expecting old diaries, like from when we were teenagers (maybe cause you said you peaked intellectually in grade 10). These are way more recent than I thought.

    I think we perpetually realize the person we were X years ago is less wise and insightful. It’s just part being a person who always learns and grows.

    (I didn’t know you had an abortion. I feel like I should have known this, and now I wonder what gap I’m missing from your life story.)

    • Tiana says:

      I’m sure I wrote about my abortion a while ago. I’m sure if you use abortion as a search term it will come up. I had it when I was 17 and foud that decision to be relatively easy. We’re I to have an unwanted pregnancy today, my life situation would make that decision much more difficult.


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