Introspection

I wrote this post on a piece of paper last Sunday when I was waiting for Jeff to come pick me up to go to the Ottawa Foodies meet up. That makes it seem like he was late and I was killing time which is not the case. I was just ready early and this popped into my head.

If facebook had come around sooner, I likely wouldn’t have this livejournal account. I can connect with friends, post notes and post photos. The downside of facebook is that the groups feature pales in comparison to the Livejournal Communities.

When I started this journal, it was fairly anonymous and as such my posts were more candid and introspective than they are now. Now when I write something I wonder if I would want my coworkers to read it. It really doesn’t matter that much because it’s not just my posts that have lost the introspective quality. It’s my life in general.

I just don’t have much time for it and that’s ok. I figure by the age of 28, I really should have myself figured out by now, or at least figured out WELL ENOUGH. Now, I’m just enjoying the life built by all those years of self-examination (wow that sounds like I was feeling myself up a lot). It’s peaceful. May be TOO peaceful?

Am I looking for a big change?

Not sure… I suppose I’ll have to reflect on that…

This post was spurred on by an event earlier that day.  I was at a store looking for something after having been to 2 other places and was feeling frazzled because I had to be back home 5 minutes ago.  I’m standing there just looking around trying to find what I’m looking for when a woman next to me approaches me the same way I assume I would approach someone I don’t REALLY know but FEEL like I know and have a lot of admiration for (I’m not saying she has admiration for me, I’m just imagining how I would feel to approach someone in the same manner).  Maybe Jian Ghomeshi… *swoon*

whooo back to the story.  The conversation goes something like this (I’m paraphrasing as this WAS a week ago);

Lady:  Ohhhhhhh!  Um… I guess you get this a lot.
Me: Get what a lot?
Lady: People coming up to you… because of your blog…
Me: Um…. (thinking: Actually no I don’t, unless it’s someone I KNOW through blogging, as in, we’ve had online conversations)
Lady: We check your blog all the time
Me: Who are you? (I guess this sounded rude but I really meant to say something like "Who would I know you as online?)
Lady: You’d probably know my husband
Me: What’s his name? (referring to online ‘name’
Lady: Insert a real full name I do not remember
Me: I have no idea who this is.

it went on a bit more but as I said, I was in a rush.

I just found it so odd because up until that point, I had assumed that everyone who reads this thing actually comments, or has commented at least once.  Livejournal does not provide me with stats so I actually have no idea at all how many people read this vs how many people comment.

If you read this… Who the hell are you? Leave me a comment! It’s creepy that you don’t.

I like to think that I’ve commented at least once on every personal journal I read.  I think I have.  I’ve sent emails directly to the writers of blogs that do not allow comments when he mood strikes.  I mean, if you read this with any frequency at all, you must have an opinion on SOMETHING right?

Let me have it.

On this day:

In 2008 – drinking gross mosquito eggs
In 2007 – Venus Envy vs Cosmo Mag
In 2006 – a friends locked post, and a poll
In 2005 – my sister, wearing a belly shirt

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58 Comments on “Introspection”

  1. corto says:

    well… you know I’m out here a’stalk’en. πŸ™‚

  2. corto says:

    well… you know I’m out here a’stalk’en. πŸ™‚

  3. thebookpile says:

    I think that was my wife. I hope that wasn’t too weird. She’s been following your your posts about pregnancy and parenting but isn’t on LJ (so if she has commented, it probably came up as “Anonymous”).

    • tianadargent says:

      OH maybe! If she would have said your LJ name then I would not have been so confused.
      It was only weird in the sense that I don’t really expect that people I don’t ‘know’ read this.

    • tianadargent says:

      OH maybe! If she would have said your LJ name then I would not have been so confused.
      It was only weird in the sense that I don’t really expect that people I don’t ‘know’ read this.

  4. thebookpile says:

    I think that was my wife. I hope that wasn’t too weird. She’s been following your your posts about pregnancy and parenting but isn’t on LJ (so if she has commented, it probably came up as “Anonymous”).

  5. Hi. We were LJ friends under my old username, and I still read you. I’m pretty sure I’ve commented since switching, but in case I’ve been creepy and haven’t, hi!

  6. Hi. We were LJ friends under my old username, and I still read you. I’m pretty sure I’ve commented since switching, but in case I’ve been creepy and haven’t, hi!

  7. c0deblue says:

    i’m alison.. been reading your journal for a few years now. but i promise i’m not creepy..

  8. c0deblue says:

    i’m alison.. been reading your journal for a few years now. but i promise i’m not creepy..

  9. allsorts says:

    i came across your journal not too long ago. My name is Katie (aka allsorts). I enjoy your entries and have been wanting to online introduce myself for a while but i’m shy (hehe)and honestly not creepy!

  10. allsorts says:

    i came across your journal not too long ago. My name is Katie (aka allsorts). I enjoy your entries and have been wanting to online introduce myself for a while but i’m shy (hehe)and honestly not creepy!

  11. I’m Lauren, and I started reading yours a few years ago, when flamingbabyhead still had an account.

  12. I’m Lauren, and I started reading yours a few years ago, when flamingbabyhead still had an account.

  13. rachaeldoss says:

    This is interesting, as it sort of sums up how I live my whole life. I remember being totally flabbergasted when someone with whom I was not friends in high school would know who I was, or my brother would tell me that they would ask about me. I would wonder why on earth anyone followed anything I did when I did not know them.
    Meanwhile, I do it to other people all the time.
    It’s the same with blogs!

  14. rachaeldoss says:

    This is interesting, as it sort of sums up how I live my whole life. I remember being totally flabbergasted when someone with whom I was not friends in high school would know who I was, or my brother would tell me that they would ask about me. I would wonder why on earth anyone followed anything I did when I did not know them.
    Meanwhile, I do it to other people all the time.
    It’s the same with blogs!

  15. Hi… I’ve been reading your blog for about 6 weeks or so. Just stumbled on it one day when browsing through the Ottawa community. I haven’t used LiveJournal regularly in a couple of years but still check communities from time to time. It was me who left the anonymous comment on the Metis post a while back, which I hope was helpful to you. Anywho, please take this as a compliment and not creepy stalkerish behaviour – but your blog is really enjoyable to read which is why people keep coming back. You’ve got such an honest perspective on being a mother and on life in general. People read because we like what you have to say and how you say it!
    Cheers,
    Angela
    PS: If you switched to blogger or wordpress, you could track stats on who’s visiting and from where.

  16. Hi… I’ve been reading your blog for about 6 weeks or so. Just stumbled on it one day when browsing through the Ottawa community. I haven’t used LiveJournal regularly in a couple of years but still check communities from time to time. It was me who left the anonymous comment on the Metis post a while back, which I hope was helpful to you. Anywho, please take this as a compliment and not creepy stalkerish behaviour – but your blog is really enjoyable to read which is why people keep coming back. You’ve got such an honest perspective on being a mother and on life in general. People read because we like what you have to say and how you say it!
    Cheers,
    Angela
    PS: If you switched to blogger or wordpress, you could track stats on who’s visiting and from where.

  17. Hi! I’ve commented a few times, so you probably know I’m lurking here.
    I love your food and Bobby posts, and I’m a friend of Lindsey and Rachel.

  18. Hi! I’ve commented a few times, so you probably know I’m lurking here.
    I love your food and Bobby posts, and I’m a friend of Lindsey and Rachel.

  19. supremeo says:

    Hi.
    I’ve been reading your lj for probably about four years. For some reason I’ve never stepped forward/left a comment. You called me out though, so here I am.
    I suppose it’s strange to have never left a thought or opinion, considering how long I’ve been following you.
    Well, my name is Kelly. We have some things in common.. like I grew up in Richmond Hill and have red hair.
    I don’t know how I stumbled upon your blog but it was quite randomly, and I started reading it basically because I enjoyed your design aesthetic. Now it sort of turned into someone I admire. Yes! You! I do! I kind of envision me in the same place as you when I’m 28 or if I’m not that it’d be a pretty sweet place to be.

  20. supremeo says:

    Hi.
    I’ve been reading your lj for probably about four years. For some reason I’ve never stepped forward/left a comment. You called me out though, so here I am.
    I suppose it’s strange to have never left a thought or opinion, considering how long I’ve been following you.
    Well, my name is Kelly. We have some things in common.. like I grew up in Richmond Hill and have red hair.
    I don’t know how I stumbled upon your blog but it was quite randomly, and I started reading it basically because I enjoyed your design aesthetic. Now it sort of turned into someone I admire. Yes! You! I do! I kind of envision me in the same place as you when I’m 28 or if I’m not that it’d be a pretty sweet place to be.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Did you know there’s a generally accepted annual de-lurking day? It’s on January 12th. I’ve never asked anyone to de-lurk on my site yet, but I probably will on the 10th anniversary or something.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Did you know there’s a generally accepted annual de-lurking day? It’s on January 12th. I’ve never asked anyone to de-lurk on my site yet, but I probably will on the 10th anniversary or something.

  23. My name is Jessica, I’m 23, and I live in Los Angeles. I’m an embroidery artist and I post photos of my work, craft tutorials, and sometimes just photo updates about the goings on in my life. I also post recipes if I bake something new that I want to share. I’ve been reading your journal for…two years? While you were engaged, that’s when I started. I think it was a food thing…maybe feminism? Not sure.
    I can relate to the less introspective thing. When I first started I was writing about my feelings but now I write about what I do…I think it’s a better record of my life and it’s more fun and interesting for others to read.
    I used to comment, ask questions and stuff but you never responded so I figured you were weirded out that I read your journal but didn’t know you in person. So I stopped commenting…even though I wanted to…I suppose I shouldn’t just expect you to respond to the things I say, but since I then felt discouraged I never congratulated you on the milestones you hit since then, like your wedding, pregnancy, child. I felt you weren’t interested in me so I stopped pursuing a dialog with you. But you still show up on my friends page because I still enjoy reading your journal.

  24. My name is Jessica, I’m 23, and I live in Los Angeles. I’m an embroidery artist and I post photos of my work, craft tutorials, and sometimes just photo updates about the goings on in my life. I also post recipes if I bake something new that I want to share. I’ve been reading your journal for…two years? While you were engaged, that’s when I started. I think it was a food thing…maybe feminism? Not sure.
    I can relate to the less introspective thing. When I first started I was writing about my feelings but now I write about what I do…I think it’s a better record of my life and it’s more fun and interesting for others to read.
    I used to comment, ask questions and stuff but you never responded so I figured you were weirded out that I read your journal but didn’t know you in person. So I stopped commenting…even though I wanted to…I suppose I shouldn’t just expect you to respond to the things I say, but since I then felt discouraged I never congratulated you on the milestones you hit since then, like your wedding, pregnancy, child. I felt you weren’t interested in me so I stopped pursuing a dialog with you. But you still show up on my friends page because I still enjoy reading your journal.

  25. HEY! i’m not creepy!
    i’m just self-involved. πŸ™‚

  26. HEY! i’m not creepy!
    i’m just self-involved. πŸ™‚

  27. I think the real question here is: who are YOU!
    Except… I know the answer. You are Jeff’s friend.
    Hi!

  28. I think the real question here is: who are YOU!
    Except… I know the answer. You are Jeff’s friend.
    Hi!

  29. steph5628 says:

    I am Steph – 28 from Denver, Colorado. I first read your journal when you posted a practice run of your wedding hair in a wedding community. I bookmarked you then and found you next shortly after you announced your pregnancy. I was trying to get pregnant myself, so I checked in every once in awhile to see how it’s going. I’m sorry I’ve never commented! I had my daughter on April 2nd, and have enjoyed reading about your adventures with Bobby!!

  30. steph5628 says:

    I am Steph – 28 from Denver, Colorado. I first read your journal when you posted a practice run of your wedding hair in a wedding community. I bookmarked you then and found you next shortly after you announced your pregnancy. I was trying to get pregnant myself, so I checked in every once in awhile to see how it’s going. I’m sorry I’ve never commented! I had my daughter on April 2nd, and have enjoyed reading about your adventures with Bobby!!


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