They say you know who your true friends are when…

I find it really interesting that I haven’t heard from certain people and have heard from some completely unexpected people with the birth of Bobby.

I don’t really begrudge people I haven’t heard from at all, or who haven’t come to visit or whatever, but it seriously makes me wonder how good of friends they truly are. Don’t they care to see the human being I made with pure vagina power?

I mean, people I’ve befriended on the internet and never met before in real life have come to visit!

What brings this up is the fact that a friend that I thought was totally lost to me called me today to ask about him and to mend fences. It was so extraordinary and it makes me really happy. I just don’t get how someone I thought would never speak to me again can get in touch with me about this while people that Brent and/or I see on a somewhat regular basis are nowhere to be found…

Odd that isn’t it?


On this day:

In 2007 – Planning a Roman Holiday

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63 Comments on “They say you know who your true friends are when…”

  1. photogfrog says:

    I’d like to see him! 🙂
    It might be that people think you need more time to adjust and they might not know your sleeping schedules and when is a good time to ring. It’s a bit odd though.

  2. photogfrog says:

    I’d like to see him! 🙂
    It might be that people think you need more time to adjust and they might not know your sleeping schedules and when is a good time to ring. It’s a bit odd though.

  3. photogfrog says:

    I’d like to see him! 🙂
    It might be that people think you need more time to adjust and they might not know your sleeping schedules and when is a good time to ring. It’s a bit odd though.

  4. i would be so angry at these people. i completely understand what you mean.

  5. i would be so angry at these people. i completely understand what you mean.

  6. i would be so angry at these people. i completely understand what you mean.

  7. utsi says:

    over the many years i have always found it surprisning who flows in and out. some for good reasons, some for bad, and some just because.
    i have been enjoying reading about the wee one 🙂 but life has been busy and i have been too wiped to do much other than read (can’t imagine ‘having had baby’ category of wiped)

  8. utsi says:

    over the many years i have always found it surprisning who flows in and out. some for good reasons, some for bad, and some just because.
    i have been enjoying reading about the wee one 🙂 but life has been busy and i have been too wiped to do much other than read (can’t imagine ‘having had baby’ category of wiped)

  9. utsi says:

    over the many years i have always found it surprisning who flows in and out. some for good reasons, some for bad, and some just because.
    i have been enjoying reading about the wee one 🙂 but life has been busy and i have been too wiped to do much other than read (can’t imagine ‘having had baby’ category of wiped)

  10. agrrlswrrld says:

    I know what you mean – it was the same way when I went through my divorce. Some of the people I truly thought I could rely on to be there were nowhere to be seen.
    I hope they come around to share in your happiness (literally and figuratively.
    BTW: I love the line “the human being I made with pure vagina power”!!
    Is he everything you expected and more?? He must amaze you every day!

  11. agrrlswrrld says:

    I know what you mean – it was the same way when I went through my divorce. Some of the people I truly thought I could rely on to be there were nowhere to be seen.
    I hope they come around to share in your happiness (literally and figuratively.
    BTW: I love the line “the human being I made with pure vagina power”!!
    Is he everything you expected and more?? He must amaze you every day!

  12. agrrlswrrld says:

    I know what you mean – it was the same way when I went through my divorce. Some of the people I truly thought I could rely on to be there were nowhere to be seen.
    I hope they come around to share in your happiness (literally and figuratively.
    BTW: I love the line “the human being I made with pure vagina power”!!
    Is he everything you expected and more?? He must amaze you every day!

  13. rachaeldoss says:

    Ok, don’t write off your friends just yet. Now, the situation may be totally different, but I know when my friends had babies, I was totally scared I would call at the wrong time and bother them, so I ended up not calling very much at all.
    They all said this was absurd and that if they were sleeping/busy/nursing/eating dinner/taking a shower/etc. they would just not answer.
    But still that fear really got me to be a lot less friendly, even though I thought about them a lot and wondered how they were.
    If it still continues in a couple of weeks, though, then they are probably pooshoes.

  14. rachaeldoss says:

    Ok, don’t write off your friends just yet. Now, the situation may be totally different, but I know when my friends had babies, I was totally scared I would call at the wrong time and bother them, so I ended up not calling very much at all.
    They all said this was absurd and that if they were sleeping/busy/nursing/eating dinner/taking a shower/etc. they would just not answer.
    But still that fear really got me to be a lot less friendly, even though I thought about them a lot and wondered how they were.
    If it still continues in a couple of weeks, though, then they are probably pooshoes.

  15. rachaeldoss says:

    Ok, don’t write off your friends just yet. Now, the situation may be totally different, but I know when my friends had babies, I was totally scared I would call at the wrong time and bother them, so I ended up not calling very much at all.
    They all said this was absurd and that if they were sleeping/busy/nursing/eating dinner/taking a shower/etc. they would just not answer.
    But still that fear really got me to be a lot less friendly, even though I thought about them a lot and wondered how they were.
    If it still continues in a couple of weeks, though, then they are probably pooshoes.

  16. corto says:

    wait…
    does this mean I could talk you into letting me stop by and visit the baby? I’ll bring brownies. 😀

  17. corto says:

    wait…
    does this mean I could talk you into letting me stop by and visit the baby? I’ll bring brownies. 😀

  18. corto says:

    wait…
    does this mean I could talk you into letting me stop by and visit the baby? I’ll bring brownies. 😀

  19. nyxie says:

    Yeah, it seems big life events like weddings and the birth of a child (especially a first child) tend to show you what sorts of people your friends really are. 😦 Although I will say has a point. Some people just don’t know how/when to react, and don’t want to bother an exhausted new mom and dad.

  20. nyxie says:

    Yeah, it seems big life events like weddings and the birth of a child (especially a first child) tend to show you what sorts of people your friends really are. 😦 Although I will say has a point. Some people just don’t know how/when to react, and don’t want to bother an exhausted new mom and dad.

  21. nyxie says:

    Yeah, it seems big life events like weddings and the birth of a child (especially a first child) tend to show you what sorts of people your friends really are. 😦 Although I will say has a point. Some people just don’t know how/when to react, and don’t want to bother an exhausted new mom and dad.

  22. Anonymous says:

    I was barely 24 when JP was born. My friends made a special point of coming to visit when he was new. After that, though, a lot of them dropped me like a hot skillet. I was no longer included in movie nights, dinner get-togethers, etc. and it pissed me off. I think some people, especially those without children think that now you’re a mom, you’re a completely different person and don’t really know what to *do* with you. Other people don’t want to bother you as they don’t know when it’s a good time to call, come over, etc. Other people are just inconsiderate and stupid.
    Fast forward to 5 1/2 years later and I’m now back in the circle. They needed to see that I was willing (and happy to) go out without JP, that I was capable of talking about something other than my kid and, that even though I pushed another human out of my goods, I was still the same person (although slightly stretched out in my nether regions but only Mr. Tonks knows about that).
    As not-fun as it seems, the best thing you can do is to reach out to the people that haven’t put forth any effort into seeing you, Brent and the baby. Call or e-mail and invite them over. If they’re resistant, don’t waste your energy. I think you might be surprised, though, at the response you get.
    Oh, and for what it’s worth, if I didn’t live 1300 miles away, I’d bring you some waffles and snuggle that sweet baby boy.

  23. Anonymous says:

    I was barely 24 when JP was born. My friends made a special point of coming to visit when he was new. After that, though, a lot of them dropped me like a hot skillet. I was no longer included in movie nights, dinner get-togethers, etc. and it pissed me off. I think some people, especially those without children think that now you’re a mom, you’re a completely different person and don’t really know what to *do* with you. Other people don’t want to bother you as they don’t know when it’s a good time to call, come over, etc. Other people are just inconsiderate and stupid.
    Fast forward to 5 1/2 years later and I’m now back in the circle. They needed to see that I was willing (and happy to) go out without JP, that I was capable of talking about something other than my kid and, that even though I pushed another human out of my goods, I was still the same person (although slightly stretched out in my nether regions but only Mr. Tonks knows about that).
    As not-fun as it seems, the best thing you can do is to reach out to the people that haven’t put forth any effort into seeing you, Brent and the baby. Call or e-mail and invite them over. If they’re resistant, don’t waste your energy. I think you might be surprised, though, at the response you get.
    Oh, and for what it’s worth, if I didn’t live 1300 miles away, I’d bring you some waffles and snuggle that sweet baby boy.

  24. Anonymous says:

    I was barely 24 when JP was born. My friends made a special point of coming to visit when he was new. After that, though, a lot of them dropped me like a hot skillet. I was no longer included in movie nights, dinner get-togethers, etc. and it pissed me off. I think some people, especially those without children think that now you’re a mom, you’re a completely different person and don’t really know what to *do* with you. Other people don’t want to bother you as they don’t know when it’s a good time to call, come over, etc. Other people are just inconsiderate and stupid.
    Fast forward to 5 1/2 years later and I’m now back in the circle. They needed to see that I was willing (and happy to) go out without JP, that I was capable of talking about something other than my kid and, that even though I pushed another human out of my goods, I was still the same person (although slightly stretched out in my nether regions but only Mr. Tonks knows about that).
    As not-fun as it seems, the best thing you can do is to reach out to the people that haven’t put forth any effort into seeing you, Brent and the baby. Call or e-mail and invite them over. If they’re resistant, don’t waste your energy. I think you might be surprised, though, at the response you get.
    Oh, and for what it’s worth, if I didn’t live 1300 miles away, I’d bring you some waffles and snuggle that sweet baby boy.

  25. I third the thought that most people don’t want to butt in on family bonding time. Hell, I don’t email too much because I don’t want to butt in:)
    It was very big of your friend to forgive all the selfishness you showed towards her. So glad she found it in her heart to speak to you again. What a true friend.

  26. I third the thought that most people don’t want to butt in on family bonding time. Hell, I don’t email too much because I don’t want to butt in:)
    It was very big of your friend to forgive all the selfishness you showed towards her. So glad she found it in her heart to speak to you again. What a true friend.

  27. I third the thought that most people don’t want to butt in on family bonding time. Hell, I don’t email too much because I don’t want to butt in:)
    It was very big of your friend to forgive all the selfishness you showed towards her. So glad she found it in her heart to speak to you again. What a true friend.

  28. shesaid says:

    Sorry about the friend frustration. It’s hard to know how to react especially for people that don’t have kids yet, but at the same time if these are people you are used to seeing/talking to on a very regular basis I would hope that you’d hear something from them very soon! The people that I see and talk to on a regular basis are the ones that I hope will want to visit right away and think about making meals for us and stuff like that. 😉 Too many people don’t think like that.

  29. shesaid says:

    Sorry about the friend frustration. It’s hard to know how to react especially for people that don’t have kids yet, but at the same time if these are people you are used to seeing/talking to on a very regular basis I would hope that you’d hear something from them very soon! The people that I see and talk to on a regular basis are the ones that I hope will want to visit right away and think about making meals for us and stuff like that. 😉 Too many people don’t think like that.

  30. shesaid says:

    Sorry about the friend frustration. It’s hard to know how to react especially for people that don’t have kids yet, but at the same time if these are people you are used to seeing/talking to on a very regular basis I would hope that you’d hear something from them very soon! The people that I see and talk to on a regular basis are the ones that I hope will want to visit right away and think about making meals for us and stuff like that. 😉 Too many people don’t think like that.

  31. lyndszy says:

    Even though some may disappoint you, it is awesome how the ones that you didn’t count on connecting with again, have re-appeared..
    🙂

  32. lyndszy says:

    Even though some may disappoint you, it is awesome how the ones that you didn’t count on connecting with again, have re-appeared..
    🙂

  33. lyndszy says:

    Even though some may disappoint you, it is awesome how the ones that you didn’t count on connecting with again, have re-appeared..
    🙂

  34. metahara says:

    Those of us that are proud of you would like to see pictures every day of the lil cutey pahtootie- : )
    I went through something similar. It took awhile for friends who didn’t have kids or want to have kids to get comfortable with the notion of me as mom. I also picked up on a lot of projected issues with their own mothers and ideas of mothers all fitting into one or two stereotypes- as if they never knew me or thought i was taken over by an alien force…

  35. metahara says:

    Those of us that are proud of you would like to see pictures every day of the lil cutey pahtootie- : )
    I went through something similar. It took awhile for friends who didn’t have kids or want to have kids to get comfortable with the notion of me as mom. I also picked up on a lot of projected issues with their own mothers and ideas of mothers all fitting into one or two stereotypes- as if they never knew me or thought i was taken over by an alien force…

  36. metahara says:

    Those of us that are proud of you would like to see pictures every day of the lil cutey pahtootie- : )
    I went through something similar. It took awhile for friends who didn’t have kids or want to have kids to get comfortable with the notion of me as mom. I also picked up on a lot of projected issues with their own mothers and ideas of mothers all fitting into one or two stereotypes- as if they never knew me or thought i was taken over by an alien force…


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