Last night I was planning on coming in here to write about how much better I feel.  About how I’m happy way more often than I am sad now.  It would have been great.

Then I went to sleep and dreamed that it was all happening again with another girl and he was flaunting it even more and didn’t care who knew or how I felt about it.

I felt so desperate, trying to fix things but it being totally one-sided.  I guess that’s because I feel like I’m the one who had to do all the fixing and dragging things out into the open in the first place.  Not a single thing was volunteered.

So I know deep down that nothing has changed between yesterday and today but I woke up crushed nonetheless.


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