Maybe I’m crazy…

First let me explain two concepts.

1- The morning regulars

There are about 3 people other than me who regularly take the bus from the same spot at the same time in the morning.  I have a speaking relationship with 2 of them and the third just nods when people say hi.  There is an unspoken agreement that whoever gets there first gets on the bus first and people follow in the order they arrived.  To me, this makes sense.

2- Priority seating on the bus

There are about 8 seats at the front of every bus that are designated as priority seating. There is a pictogram above them indicating who gets priority;

  • people with small children
  • people with issues that prevent them from standing (injury, cane, epilepsy etc)
  • pregnant women
  • visually impaired people

Ok so this is where I just wonder about people.  I’m OBVIOUSLY pregnant.  There is no question.  I got to the bus stop last today and got on last.  I could see when the bus pulled up that there was 1 priority seat left.  People take them when other seats are full.  The regular who just nods gets on first and takes the last seat.  She can’t possibly NOT know I’m pregnant.  Also, I’ve taken the bus with her enough to know she’s perfectly capable of standing.

I get on last and say to everyone in the priority seats “Can I have a seat please?” and this lady fake-stands for a second until someone else offers up their seat.

I just don’t understand how you can make eye contact with a pregnant woman, then moments later get on the bus and see that there is one seat left specifically intended for pregnant women, and then take it!

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36 Comments on “Maybe I’m crazy…”

  1. rachaeldoss says:

    People are shitheads.

  2. rachaeldoss says:

    People are shitheads.

  3. trinity3x says:

    As I was commuting in this morning, the DJ was mentioning that she’d be going to court once her morning shift was over. Apparently, there was a woman who worked in the same building 3 days a week who had been parking in the handicapped spaces even though she was clearly fine. The DJ was annoyed by this, but it really came to a head when she saw the Veterans Bus pull up to the building in the rain and had no place to park, so the attendants were trying to push wheelchair bound Veterans through the rain from the far end of the parking lot. The DJ had had enough and called the police about the woman’s parking proclivities. Turns out the handicapped placard she had hanging in her window had expired TWO YEARS AGO. She argued with the police and told them, “But this is the first time I’ve ever been to this building!” Anyway, the DJ is going to court today to testify against the woman.
    Like the above poster said, people are just shitheads.

  4. trinity3x says:

    As I was commuting in this morning, the DJ was mentioning that she’d be going to court once her morning shift was over. Apparently, there was a woman who worked in the same building 3 days a week who had been parking in the handicapped spaces even though she was clearly fine. The DJ was annoyed by this, but it really came to a head when she saw the Veterans Bus pull up to the building in the rain and had no place to park, so the attendants were trying to push wheelchair bound Veterans through the rain from the far end of the parking lot. The DJ had had enough and called the police about the woman’s parking proclivities. Turns out the handicapped placard she had hanging in her window had expired TWO YEARS AGO. She argued with the police and told them, “But this is the first time I’ve ever been to this building!” Anyway, the DJ is going to court today to testify against the woman.
    Like the above poster said, people are just shitheads.

  5. lola_70 says:

    Because on average people are assholes & we are now living in a world where no one matters but oneself…
    Pretty sad I think.

  6. lola_70 says:

    Because on average people are assholes & we are now living in a world where no one matters but oneself…
    Pretty sad I think.

  7. metahara says:

    She is a handle. You’ll notice more of them now that you are pregnant and when you are a mother…
    Some of them will be handles in the name of feminism. You may throw up a little in your mouth when they speak or write in forums online.
    You may learn compassion for them or just avoid them, please don’t ever rationalize their behaviors.
    When the axe came into the forest, one of the trees said to the other trees, “Look, the handle is one of our own”
    African Proverb

  8. metahara says:

    She is a handle. You’ll notice more of them now that you are pregnant and when you are a mother…
    Some of them will be handles in the name of feminism. You may throw up a little in your mouth when they speak or write in forums online.
    You may learn compassion for them or just avoid them, please don’t ever rationalize their behaviors.
    When the axe came into the forest, one of the trees said to the other trees, “Look, the handle is one of our own”
    African Proverb

  9. unholy, satanic beasts of hell!!!
    when judgement day comes, god’ll drown them all first mwa ha ha ha!
    if that makes you feel any better.

    • on the subway there’s a sign that says that if you have a stroller you need to fold it up and hold your kid.
      i HATE it when people with strollers ride the subway. especially when it’s crowded…and they act like it’s the other rider’s fault that we’re suffocating the kid…which is another reason one shouldn’t ride the subway with a stroller–it’s dangerous!!! do you really want your kid trapped by so many strange people?
      at the same time though i feel that ppl with strollers should also be allowed to ride the subway. though perhaps not when it’s so crowded that it’s one of those days where everybody’s standing and some ppl don’t even have something to hold onto.

      • tianadargent says:

        I figure it should be: fold stroller, sit with child in lab, stow stroller under the seat.

        • There’s no room for that though when the subway is crowded. If one can get in 2 feet past the door they’re golden. pfft let alone sit down. drea-ming.
          Thus I can’t understand why somebody would feel okay cramming their child into that deathbox during rushhour. *i* NEVER would. what if somebody fell on the kid or sat on them by accident (very likely, actually) and suffocated or hurt them badly… 😦

          • metahara says:

            ah never, it’s so unforgiving
            If you had ever been a mother who had to get to the child’s daycare and then to work to buy food and pay enough of the bills to keep things going one more day
            you would understand/
            have compassion
            for the mother getting on the “deathbox”
            hopefully you wont ever know hat it takes to get to that point- where the death box is better than a home with no electricity, better than eviction.

          • metahara says:

            ah never, it’s so unforgiving
            If you had ever been a mother who had to get to the child’s daycare and then to work to buy food and pay enough of the bills to keep things going one more day
            you would understand/
            have compassion
            for the mother getting on the “deathbox”
            hopefully you wont ever know hat it takes to get to that point- where the death box is better than a home with no electricity, better than eviction.

        • There’s no room for that though when the subway is crowded. If one can get in 2 feet past the door they’re golden. pfft let alone sit down. drea-ming.
          Thus I can’t understand why somebody would feel okay cramming their child into that deathbox during rushhour. *i* NEVER would. what if somebody fell on the kid or sat on them by accident (very likely, actually) and suffocated or hurt them badly… 😦

      • tianadargent says:

        I figure it should be: fold stroller, sit with child in lab, stow stroller under the seat.

      • Anonymous says:

        The public transit system is for everyone to use, hence why it is called “public”. It’s not within everyones’ means to own a car.
        This is something we should ALL remember.

    • on the subway there’s a sign that says that if you have a stroller you need to fold it up and hold your kid.
      i HATE it when people with strollers ride the subway. especially when it’s crowded…and they act like it’s the other rider’s fault that we’re suffocating the kid…which is another reason one shouldn’t ride the subway with a stroller–it’s dangerous!!! do you really want your kid trapped by so many strange people?
      at the same time though i feel that ppl with strollers should also be allowed to ride the subway. though perhaps not when it’s so crowded that it’s one of those days where everybody’s standing and some ppl don’t even have something to hold onto.

    • tianadargent says:

      I’m not hurt, just perplexed.

    • tianadargent says:

      I’m not hurt, just perplexed.

  10. unholy, satanic beasts of hell!!!
    when judgement day comes, god’ll drown them all first mwa ha ha ha!
    if that makes you feel any better.

  11. Poor thing.
    Politeness is a given around here. People are sometimes polite to a flaw. I sit at my edit suite for hours and love to take breaks by walking over to co-workers and chatting for a bit. It never fails, the men will INSIST I sit down.
    man: have a seat! : )
    me: no thanks, i’m good.
    man: noooo…. please sit down *gets up to assist*
    me: no really, i’ve been sitting for a couple of hours now.. it feels good to stand & stretch for a bit.
    man: well feel free to have a seat if you get tired.
    It wears me out. It’s sweet, but really. I think a happy mediium between our 2 experiences would be ideal.
    On a similar note… we have designated parking spaces at our mall for expecting mothers. I don’t use them because I love my walks… but I noticed a lady using one recently who didn’t look pregnant at all. I smiled and said, ‘When is your baby due?’. She GLARED at me and said, ‘I AM pregnant. About 6 weeks pregnant actually’.
    It was weird. I wasn’t doubting her pregnancy, I was just trying to chit-chat with another preggie. She obviously thought I was calling her out on the parking space. P.S. I don’t think 6 weeks (when your baby is the size of a grain of rice) qualifies you for the parking upgrade. I’m pretty sure those spaces are for the waddling Mamas.

    • tianadargent says:

      We have those spaces at malls too and they are almost always taken at the mall nearest me. I used them a total of 2 times. They do come in handy when you can’t find parking though. They aren’t just for pregnant people though, they are also for people with small kids/strollers.

      • trinity3x says:

        At my last job, we had these spots and my (male) program manager protested them “because it was a benefit he’d never get to use.”
        *headdesk*

      • trinity3x says:

        At my last job, we had these spots and my (male) program manager protested them “because it was a benefit he’d never get to use.”
        *headdesk*

    • tianadargent says:

      We have those spaces at malls too and they are almost always taken at the mall nearest me. I used them a total of 2 times. They do come in handy when you can’t find parking though. They aren’t just for pregnant people though, they are also for people with small kids/strollers.

  12. Poor thing.
    Politeness is a given around here. People are sometimes polite to a flaw. I sit at my edit suite for hours and love to take breaks by walking over to co-workers and chatting for a bit. It never fails, the men will INSIST I sit down.
    man: have a seat! : )
    me: no thanks, i’m good.
    man: noooo…. please sit down *gets up to assist*
    me: no really, i’ve been sitting for a couple of hours now.. it feels good to stand & stretch for a bit.
    man: well feel free to have a seat if you get tired.
    It wears me out. It’s sweet, but really. I think a happy mediium between our 2 experiences would be ideal.
    On a similar note… we have designated parking spaces at our mall for expecting mothers. I don’t use them because I love my walks… but I noticed a lady using one recently who didn’t look pregnant at all. I smiled and said, ‘When is your baby due?’. She GLARED at me and said, ‘I AM pregnant. About 6 weeks pregnant actually’.
    It was weird. I wasn’t doubting her pregnancy, I was just trying to chit-chat with another preggie. She obviously thought I was calling her out on the parking space. P.S. I don’t think 6 weeks (when your baby is the size of a grain of rice) qualifies you for the parking upgrade. I’m pretty sure those spaces are for the waddling Mamas.

  13. i’m not sure who left me this comment, but i do not disagree. everyone SHOULD be able to ride public transport
    but not at risk to their child.
    moreover, if people cannot afford to SAFELY transport their child across the city, perhaps they should wait until they have the financial reasources necessary for safe transport before having a child.
    perhaps if they hold the child while folding the stroller it’s okay, but to jam the stroller into the crowd is unsafe.
    Crowded Subway
    that’s in korea, nyc subways get even more crowded. i just personally don’t necessarily believe that this is the best way to transport an infant across a city.
    whatever. point of my comment is that i dislike it when i get a stroller jammed into my leg. ow. i don’t believe that this is an unreasonable complaint.

    • metahara says:

      Wow, seriously?
      “they should wait until they have the financial reasources necessary for safe transport before having a child.”
      wow
      ok, sorry T-
      I’m outta here.

      • Re: Wow, seriously?
        i also said
        “perhaps if they hold the child while folding the stroller it’s okay, but to jam the stroller into the crowd is unsafe.”
        and also
        “everyone SHOULD be able to ride public transport”
        i think we’re arguing for the same thing here. because i never said that i was against ppl transporting their kid in a subway, just that it was annoying and unsafe.
        and they should wait until they have the financial resources necessary if they CAN. i was hoping the “if they can” part was obvious, because obviously if they already have a kid then there’s nothing that can be done about that.

        • metahara says:

          Re: Wow, seriously?
          As a mother, I’m usually not annoyed by other mothers and children. If I can I assist a mom who may be struggling with a stroller, a screaming child, or a crowd of mean eyes, I do.
          I tend to be more annoyed by single women who behave like handles.
          Of course risking a child’s safety is not something I support (that’s when I offer to help the mom), but, the statement that someone should wait till they have adequate (and what number is that?) finances…
          tells me we are not on the same page.
          “if they can” just makes the statement more patronizing to those of us with less financial privilege than you think is adequate.

          • Re: Wow, seriously?
            that’s actually a good idea, i’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me before. please be certain that next time i’m on a crowded train and some lady and her carriage/baby need my help i’ll do my best. 🙂

    • metahara says:

      Wow, seriously?
      “they should wait until they have the financial reasources necessary for safe transport before having a child.”
      wow
      ok, sorry T-
      I’m outta here.

  14. i’m not sure who left me this comment, but i do not disagree. everyone SHOULD be able to ride public transport
    but not at risk to their child.
    moreover, if people cannot afford to SAFELY transport their child across the city, perhaps they should wait until they have the financial reasources necessary for safe transport before having a child.
    perhaps if they hold the child while folding the stroller it’s okay, but to jam the stroller into the crowd is unsafe.
    Crowded Subway
    that’s in korea, nyc subways get even more crowded. i just personally don’t necessarily believe that this is the best way to transport an infant across a city.
    whatever. point of my comment is that i dislike it when i get a stroller jammed into my leg. ow. i don’t believe that this is an unreasonable complaint.


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