some kind of violation

Inspired by this post.

Sometime between the 7th and 11th grades, I live with my mom on the 7th floor of a condo. We had a corner unit and one side faced another building.

The only full length mirror was in my mom’s bedroom so I would go in there to check my outfits and such. One summer day, I was trying on a few different things and as I looked at my reflection, I could see a man in a window totally naked, staring at me and beating off.

I dropped to the floor and crawled out of the room.

It never occurred to me to report it, but I felt extremely violated.

The link above leads me to believe that this kind of thing happens fairly often but it doesn’t really get talked about. Has anything like this ever happened to you? Did you report it to anyone?


On this day:

In 2007 – I miss art
In 2006 – apparently it was snowing, and it’s snowing today too!
In 2005 – what flavour is that colour?

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32 Comments on “some kind of violation”

  1. artistiqua says:

    Holy shit, that is disgusting. And you were a child, too!
    The only violation that I can think of are things like ass-groping and dirty remarks. But that is aggravating enough really. 😦

  2. artistiqua says:

    Holy shit, that is disgusting. And you were a child, too!
    The only violation that I can think of are things like ass-groping and dirty remarks. But that is aggravating enough really. 😦

  3. shesaid says:

    AAAAA. Sick.
    That link doesn’t work for me…..

    • tianadargent says:

      That would be because I’m using the Firefox 3 beta and apparently none of my hyperlinks work when I write posts now even though they LOOK like they work. Thanks for pointing that out. Here is the link http://feministing.com/archives/008941.html#comments I will now uninstall the beta and fix the post.

      • Hmm, I was going to try out the beta but I think I might wait. Are you using Windows? Firefox 3 beta is installed side-by-side with Firefox 2 so you can actually have both on at the same time and switch between them as you wish.

        • tianadargent says:

          Oh I didn’t know I could use both. It’s on my work comp so I just finished removing it. The only issue I’ve had with it was with the LJ rich text editor. After I installed the beta, I couldn’t find version 2.
          Whatev’s I’m happy to wait ’till they fix the bugs. Other than that though, it’s super fast and has some fun features.

          • fiercekitty says:

            I had problems with the Firefox 3 beta 4 & 5. It wouldn’t save my tabs or warn me when I was closing the browser without saving my tabs, and gmail was REALLY buggy. I’ll wait for the official release. Jimmy is having no problems with it though.

          • fiercekitty says:

            I had problems with the Firefox 3 beta 4 & 5. It wouldn’t save my tabs or warn me when I was closing the browser without saving my tabs, and gmail was REALLY buggy. I’ll wait for the official release. Jimmy is having no problems with it though.

        • tianadargent says:

          Oh I didn’t know I could use both. It’s on my work comp so I just finished removing it. The only issue I’ve had with it was with the LJ rich text editor. After I installed the beta, I couldn’t find version 2.
          Whatev’s I’m happy to wait ’till they fix the bugs. Other than that though, it’s super fast and has some fun features.

      • Hmm, I was going to try out the beta but I think I might wait. Are you using Windows? Firefox 3 beta is installed side-by-side with Firefox 2 so you can actually have both on at the same time and switch between them as you wish.

    • tianadargent says:

      That would be because I’m using the Firefox 3 beta and apparently none of my hyperlinks work when I write posts now even though they LOOK like they work. Thanks for pointing that out. Here is the link http://feministing.com/archives/008941.html#comments I will now uninstall the beta and fix the post.

  4. shesaid says:

    AAAAA. Sick.
    That link doesn’t work for me…..

  5. I have a feeling that one of my former roommates felt similarly violated. She didn’t have any curtains in her bedroom of our second floor (house) apartment but I guess thought from the angle nobody could see below her head from the street. She was outside at night once after forgetting to turn off her light and she could clearly see everything in her room. That is when she realized that the creepy men living across the street could (and did) watch her change or have fun with her boyfriend. I think her face turned green and she wanted to throw up if I remember correctly.

  6. I have a feeling that one of my former roommates felt similarly violated. She didn’t have any curtains in her bedroom of our second floor (house) apartment but I guess thought from the angle nobody could see below her head from the street. She was outside at night once after forgetting to turn off her light and she could clearly see everything in her room. That is when she realized that the creepy men living across the street could (and did) watch her change or have fun with her boyfriend. I think her face turned green and she wanted to throw up if I remember correctly.

  7. shesaid says:

    I never had this happen to me, but when I was in Paraguay I saw men on the street looking at porn, or staring at me and calling at me like a dog. It was an awful feeling.
    One of my co-workers was at a park shooting baskets by herself and a man was around the corner with his stuff out. She left and he actually walked after her car yelling at her to come back. She called the police. Ick.

  8. shesaid says:

    I never had this happen to me, but when I was in Paraguay I saw men on the street looking at porn, or staring at me and calling at me like a dog. It was an awful feeling.
    One of my co-workers was at a park shooting baskets by herself and a man was around the corner with his stuff out. She left and he actually walked after her car yelling at her to come back. She called the police. Ick.

  9. I just remembered another incident. My mind must have been blocking it from my memory. I had a part-time job in high school at a library. There was an ultra-creepy guy who would come in and watch the student employees (both female and male) through the book shelves. He would actually remove some books to make a peep hole. I never actually saw what he was doing on the other side but presumably he wasn’t studying clothes design…
    He was reported and banned from the library. I don’t know if the police were involved or any legal charges were filed but I’m guessing not. So it isn’t just women that have to worry about this kind of behaviour.

  10. I just remembered another incident. My mind must have been blocking it from my memory. I had a part-time job in high school at a library. There was an ultra-creepy guy who would come in and watch the student employees (both female and male) through the book shelves. He would actually remove some books to make a peep hole. I never actually saw what he was doing on the other side but presumably he wasn’t studying clothes design…
    He was reported and banned from the library. I don’t know if the police were involved or any legal charges were filed but I’m guessing not. So it isn’t just women that have to worry about this kind of behaviour.

  11. gusgreeper says:

    yup it happened to me in my early twenties though. but it was still disturbing my heart still did the stomach drop when i read this.

  12. gusgreeper says:

    yup it happened to me in my early twenties though. but it was still disturbing my heart still did the stomach drop when i read this.

  13. on three separate occasions in my youth i had a disgusting man accross from me on the ttc beating off and staring at me. i didn’t report it any of those times but i did flee off the train when i noticed.

  14. on three separate occasions in my youth i had a disgusting man accross from me on the ttc beating off and staring at me. i didn’t report it any of those times but i did flee off the train when i noticed.

  15. lola_70 says:

    First time was in the Metro. Some guy had a huge hole in his jeans & placed it in front of his underwareless penis. In shock as well as disgusted, I got up & sat far away.
    The second time happened when I was waiting for a friend in a Metro station (yet again!), when this guy places himself in a fairly weird alcove kinda place, still at a good distance from me, but at such an angle so that I noticed him & he started beating off. The lady in the booth saw it all happen & started yelling at the guy just as I was walking away… So I’m still waiting for my friend to show so I go & stick myself directly in front of the ticket booth. Good safe spot, so I thought, when low & behold another man walks by & makes some stupid comment about my “sexy toes”. At least he kept walking!
    Yuk!

  16. lola_70 says:

    First time was in the Metro. Some guy had a huge hole in his jeans & placed it in front of his underwareless penis. In shock as well as disgusted, I got up & sat far away.
    The second time happened when I was waiting for a friend in a Metro station (yet again!), when this guy places himself in a fairly weird alcove kinda place, still at a good distance from me, but at such an angle so that I noticed him & he started beating off. The lady in the booth saw it all happen & started yelling at the guy just as I was walking away… So I’m still waiting for my friend to show so I go & stick myself directly in front of the ticket booth. Good safe spot, so I thought, when low & behold another man walks by & makes some stupid comment about my “sexy toes”. At least he kept walking!
    Yuk!

  17. when stuff LIKE this (but not this exactly) happens to me i feel flattered, and now i kinda feel bad for feeling that way.

  18. when stuff LIKE this (but not this exactly) happens to me i feel flattered, and now i kinda feel bad for feeling that way.

  19. fiercekitty says:

    In 2005 I was living by myself in my little apartment in Montreal. It was a three-storey house and each floor was converted into a separate apartment, with the top floor being two apartments. One was mine and the other belonged to a french guy. We shared a back balcony but never really spoke. Even though I am fairly good at speaking french the language barrier seemed very bad with him.
    Anyway, one extremely hot summer night I had all the windows open and was sleeping naked with just a light sheet. I woke up with a start for some reason. I had that prickly feeling all over and my heart was racing. I rolled over in bed and…you know when you think you see someone sitting in the shadows in your room but it turns out to be a chair or a pile of clothes or something? Well I thought I saw someone crouching next to my bed staring at me…thought oh it must just be clothes…and then realised no, there was actually SOMEONE THERE.
    It was my neighbour. I tried to cover myself with pillows and asked him what the fuck he was doing there. He said he was trying to find his cat (yeah right asshole). I told him to get the fuck out and luckily he did. I immediately called the cops and pressed charges. I don’t know what ended up happening though because I left Montreal shortly afterwards. I couldn’t stay in that apartment anymore. I started sleeping with a knife and couldn’t shower with my back to the door. It was awful. Then like a week later I actually had my debit card stolen and $1500 taken from my bank account. I had had it with that corrupt city and that’s when I moved to Ottawa!
    I’ve stopped hating Montreal but it’s just a nice place to visit and shop now, I’d never want to live there again.
    And actually last time I went shopping there I had $400 worth of new purchases stolen from under my nose. I have bad luck with that city 😛

    • fiercekitty says:

      Oh, and when I told all of my neighbours what happened (they were wondering about the police cars in the middle of the night), a woman who lived across the street said that her 14 year old daughter had told her that he often stared into their apartment from across the street.

    • fiercekitty says:

      Oh, and when I told all of my neighbours what happened (they were wondering about the police cars in the middle of the night), a woman who lived across the street said that her 14 year old daughter had told her that he often stared into their apartment from across the street.

  20. fiercekitty says:

    In 2005 I was living by myself in my little apartment in Montreal. It was a three-storey house and each floor was converted into a separate apartment, with the top floor being two apartments. One was mine and the other belonged to a french guy. We shared a back balcony but never really spoke. Even though I am fairly good at speaking french the language barrier seemed very bad with him.
    Anyway, one extremely hot summer night I had all the windows open and was sleeping naked with just a light sheet. I woke up with a start for some reason. I had that prickly feeling all over and my heart was racing. I rolled over in bed and…you know when you think you see someone sitting in the shadows in your room but it turns out to be a chair or a pile of clothes or something? Well I thought I saw someone crouching next to my bed staring at me…thought oh it must just be clothes…and then realised no, there was actually SOMEONE THERE.
    It was my neighbour. I tried to cover myself with pillows and asked him what the fuck he was doing there. He said he was trying to find his cat (yeah right asshole). I told him to get the fuck out and luckily he did. I immediately called the cops and pressed charges. I don’t know what ended up happening though because I left Montreal shortly afterwards. I couldn’t stay in that apartment anymore. I started sleeping with a knife and couldn’t shower with my back to the door. It was awful. Then like a week later I actually had my debit card stolen and $1500 taken from my bank account. I had had it with that corrupt city and that’s when I moved to Ottawa!
    I’ve stopped hating Montreal but it’s just a nice place to visit and shop now, I’d never want to live there again.
    And actually last time I went shopping there I had $400 worth of new purchases stolen from under my nose. I have bad luck with that city 😛


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