Why does this remind me of a Paula Abdul song?

I’ve been having such a hard time since Brent left on Tuesday.  Before that I was at the point where I rarely thought about what had happened.  I think that’s because when he’s around, we have good times so I feel pretty much constantly reassured.

Obviously, when he’s not around, that can’t happen.

I don’t feel like anything is currently going on that I should be worried about.  I’m just back to the feelings of it being hard to get over, of being incredulous at what happened, at feeling even more betrayed because of continuing contact between them after he promised he would stop.  That last part gets me the most.  He said it was because he felt bad leaving things so unfinished between them but to me, that was him making a choice to hurt me more in order to make her feel better.

So no I’m not feeling as bad as I did back in January and I don’t feel like all the progress we made is down the tubes because he went away on an overnight work trip.  I just feel like it’s taken me a couple steps back out of a hundred steps forward.  I just hope he still helps me move forward.

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