Rays of golden happiness.

This morning as I was driving Molly to daycare the sun was just hovering over the trees and it was so warm and golden. I love Autumn because the light of it fills my soul with happy. The air is chilled but the sun is warm and the leaves crunch beneath my feet and my coffee or cider warms my hands and the wildlife greets me and there is simply no better time of year for me.

I’m starting to change my ways of being. I’m unraveling the mysterious tangle of what it is to be me.  For instance, I used to be very stressed about how long it took me to get home from work, because that was of concern to Brent and now that’s not really a factor. I’ve been feeling that twinge in my chest of “Done work! Gotta get out of here and home as fast as possible!” and then I realize (when I don’t have the kids) No… I don’t. I can take my time. I can go do some things I want to do. As long as I’ve checked on cat food/water, I don’t even need to go home at all!

I’m relaxing into doing things at my own pace. I’m discovering what my pace is. I’m discovering what it is I WANT to do with my time and what it is I HAVE to do with my time and the consequences of choosing one over the other.

On this day:

In 2008 – My take on how to vote
In 2007 – Real estate talk
In 2006 – Planned violence against women and girls (it’s a problem)
In 2005 – My take on sports, in general.

 

 

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2 Comments on “Rays of golden happiness.”

  1. Rachael says:

    Since Ben left, I’ve been in Mommy/Head of Household/main decision maker for all but about a week total.

    In almost two years.

    I have still managed to learn a lot about myself, but it has been anything but a relaxing process.

    I’d be lying if I didn’t admit being jealous that other people get breaks. Ben doesn’t have to be a parent at all. But he still gets voted Father of the Year by the ass-kiss brigade…


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