Post-abortion recovery room.

I’m just going to go right ahead and copy/paste this from the description of Obvious Child on The Mayfair Theatre‘s website:

Not so many administrations ago, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Dirty Dancing” and a handful of other films dared to deal with abortion, off-camera and usually a little off the main plotline, as a medical option chosen by a sympathetic young woman dictated by the machinations of the screenplay, usually with the help of sperm donated by a dislikable supporting character.

Then, gradually and then almost entirely, nobody on screen had them anymore. “Juno,” “Knocked Up” and so many others took a pregnancy to term without many second thoughts, ushering in a narrower set of options. Few, if any, films of any size risked losing half or more of its collective audience (the divides falling along political rather than gender lines) by treating a woman’s right to choose as an acceptable storytelling decision.

In the last couple of decades, we’ve seen more portrayals of audience-friendly serial killers on TV and in the movies than we have of major female characters who terminate an unwanted pregnancy without being overtly punished or covertly marginalized (the gynecological history of Sandra Oh’s character on “Grey’s Anatomy” notwithstanding).

When I saw that this was playing at an independent theatre I could get to without driving, on a day that I didn’t have the kids and no other plans I shouted LET ME GIVE YOU ALL MY MONEY because really now. Abortions are a fact of life for many women/people with ovaries and a uterus and goodness I love a film that makes one reflect upon the human experience and you know, I guess most movies just forget that women are humans.

ANYWAY… Robyn and I went to see the movie and some things I read about it is that it is a comedy but it’s not really all that funny (but I am not the hugest comedy fan since I find so much of it to be oppressive – oh how I love accidental injury comedy though) and it even isn’t THAT compelling of a story. It’s basically just a regular life story of a woman who has an abortion for reasons. Her reasons. And that was great. Oh can I give that movie all my money again? Ok, ok I will!

The part that I liked the most was the scene where the lead character has just had an abortion and is chilling in the recovery room with all these other women who are there for the same thing. I had both of my abortions in a hospital setting and it’s done on a specific day of the week so all the abortions for that week happen on that day and everyone is there for the same thing but everyone is just kind of quiet.

It’s a kind of silent solidarity. A reverent moment. A safe space.


On this day:

In 2009 – the games bus drivers play
In 2007 – 6 years of no dentist = lots of work on my teeth
In 2006 – My recap and thoughts on my marriage preparation class as provided by The Roman Catholic Church
In 2005 – A photo of me eating a hotdog

I have a ridiculous need to publicly document my life.

I have an ongoing list of blog posts I want to make. Sometimes I get a bit worried that I’ll forget my inspiration for my meaningful writings. I guess I’m writing this right now to reassure myself that I have a list and that I will get to them when I will and that is ok.

Right now I’m floating on a cloud of happiness. I had a wonderful evening yesterday with all kinds of interrelated factors.


Shawn and I made dinner and ate together. He was inspired to make Yorkshire pudding and I made (honestly, kind of sub-par) roasted veggies and gravy. But it was nice to work together and share the meal. He’d been sick all day and we took some time to check in and have good snuggles.


Terri decided to rent a a beautiful cabin in late October and invited me to join her and I was super excited because spending time with Terri is super fun. It’s a good mix of silly chats, serious chats, and silence. Also I love nature love love love want to live in it forever but with toilets and a shower ok yay!


I spent some time with a newish lover and had nice chats and very nice Definitely Not Chats and then felt great biking home in the cool night air.


Coming home and sharing news of my evening with Shawn and cuddling into bed and having a really solid and refreshing night of sleep.


This is more about today but that’s ok. It’s my list and I make the rules for it. Checking out the website for the cabin and like, seriously becoming almost teary about how beautiful it seems and how wonderful it will be to spend a weekend there.

On this day:

In 2013 – ugh ugh ugh LOVE IS GREAT! But seriously (not that I wasn’t being serious). I have seen myself change and grow so much over the last 2-3ish years and I’m super happy.
In 2007 – plastified dead bodies and my fear of my sister


I’m pretty sure I can’t seriously date anyone who doesn’t have an interest in reading my blog. Bonus points if they read past entries from before we met.

On this day:

In 2006 – it was one of those situations where the next day I had so many better things to say…

Friday Feminism Truth-Bomb

Last night I was thinking about how I used to make 10 layer lasagna from scratch. And Bread. And granola bars. And crackers and basically everything I ate and fed my family for 3 meals a day – pretty much every day.

I was thinking about how there are certain meals I miss eating and jeez-oh-why was I no longer making them? BECAUSE THEY TAKE ALL DAMN DAY. Which was fine when I was living a life in the middle of nowhere, with nothing nearby to do, and with a partner who was not interested in doing anything to help me pursue any of my interests or maintain relationships with friends and family (other than THEIR friends and family). In that particular case, it was very easy for me to do domestic labour all the time. It was the only thing that wasn’t met with any resistance.

But now there are about 1000 other things that take up my time and energize my soul and when I balance any of those things against staying in all day to make home made ravioli with a variety of fillings, well, the time-intensive home cooking very rarely wins out.

So then I was thinking about how I can integrate my desire for yummy long-prep foods with the fact that I have a fucking enriching life and there are some good gems in there.

1-Get the whole household on-board with sharing the labour (this is mostly in full-effect at the dear old Foxhole)
2-Make it a social event! Last winter, I hosted a Pot-Pie making party and it was a big success and everyone got to go home with some great home-made food after having shared in the work to make it and having had a nice meal together. I will need to do this again!
3-figure out how to cut corners. This can mean making bigger batches of time-intensive things and freezing some of it. Our freezer is pretty small and pretty full though. I need to give this item more thought.

Anyways, fuck the patriarchy and fuck domestic labour as a tool of oppression.

On this day:

in 2013 - I guerilla-planted some tomatoes. It was really fun and I actually want to do more to get edible plants just growing all over my neighbourhood
in 2012 - Turns out, I was pregnant after all. I had an abortion and I probably blogged about that in detail shortly after.
in 2008 - honestly, Guitar Hero makes me want to vomit. I have such a negative association with it, it’s UNREAL
in 2007 - sexism in sports SO SURPRISING
in 2006 - a recipe!!!

milkshake milkshake milshake

It has been over a year and a half since I stopped nursing Molly. I don’t remember exactly when it was. It was sometime near to her 2nd birthday. Anyway my question is this: When will I stop lactating? You don’t actually need to answer that. Probably never.

The other day I had a random letdown and my shirt got wet. WTF is this Body? I think you are very confused.

Also, telling THE ENTIRE INTERNET about my bodily functions NEVER EVER gets old. Never.

On this day:

In 2009 – this was a good time. I really enjoyed going to the gym and at first I would alternate between weight training and cardio but then I just did only wight training and it was super amazing until I started getting morning sickness with The Fetus That Became Molly *also note that I use language in this post that I no longer deem appropriate to use – I’ve grown*
In 2006 – OMG this is the origin story of my Color Me Badd vinyl! Also this line was amazing “So anyways, I haven’t had hot chocolate in a LOOONG time because whenever I get into drinking it regularly, my pants stop fitting me.”

Plucking petals off a flower.

crushing grapes II  9-21-13



I’m mostly excited because we already share such candor.

On this day:

In 2012 – unlocked
In 2010 – social experiments and witches
In 2007 – macaroni & cheese, and the myth of reverse racism
In 2006 – neighbourhood connections
In 2005 –  .

Paddle Splash Yay!

I’ve been making it through my life list items at a pretty good pace. I think I need to revisit and edit the list. Some things are pretty vague and like, I don’t even know how to accomplish them. For example “Allow myself to be reckless” . That is not a tangible thing I can do to check off my list, so I’ll need to think of actual things I can do to accomplish my goals and make some amendments.

All this to say that another life-list item has been accomplished!

18. Go canoeing

The weather has been beautiful lately and the kids have really been enjoying the time we’ve spent at Meech Lake. I had been thinking about renting a canoe and taking them out and thanks to Elizabeth I learned that MEC has really well-priced rentals that include all the needed gear. (Honestly – so fabulous, I really recommend renting any gear you need from them). We picked up our canoe and gear the evening before our rental and had a fun time driving home with a canoe on our car.

The next morning, we packed up our supplies and headed for a short drive to the lake and to our first family paddling adventure! I had canoed only very little and this was just a nice introductory trip for me. The kids did not have paddles of their own, which was probably a good thing, but Bobby did say he wants to paddle with Shawn next time.

As we loaded the car, the kids pretended to drive.

As we loaded the car, the kids pretended to drive.

The next morning, we packed up our supplies and headed for a short drive to the lake and to our first family paddling adventure! I had canoed only very little and this was just a nice introductory trip for me. The kids did not have paddles of their own, which was probably a good thing, but Bobby did say he wants to paddle with Shawn next time.

about to head out on the lake

Bobby and Molly, just before getting into the canoe.

Bobby was almost immediately comfortable. It took Molly a while to get used to the motions of the boat and how people’s movements affected it. While we paddled we saw people at their cottages, excited dogs and a really huge snake sunning on someone’s dock. As we were rounding a point to go take our first land-break, we happened across two young bucks having a drink.

oh dear

This is as close as we got before they moved back under the cover of trees. As we moved away, they came back to the water.

We stopped the canoe at the mouth of an inlet, through which we would need to do a small portage. We took out our gear and set up for a picnic.

We met this frog-friend while setting up our picnic.

We met this frog-friend while setting up our picnic.

A little dog was playing in the water near to us and Molly decided that she was a Water Dog and ran along the dog's route, and chatted with the dog's people.

A little dog was playing in the water near to us and Molly decided that she was a Water Dog and ran along the dog’s route, and chatted with the dog’s people.

We got into the inlet and paddled to our usual spot at Meech. We unsuccessfully set up a fort to keep the spiders and ants off us, we swam in the pond, learned about pooping in the woods, and had a snuggle on our picnic blanket before heading back to our starting point.

By the time we were halfway back, the kids were so tired/comfortable in the canoe, that they just fell right asleep.

I got to take a paddle break while The Motor was still paddling.

I got to take a paddle break while The Motor was still paddling.

I love the combination of quiet peacefulness, beautiful nature, physical activity, and teamwork that this little day trip involved. We decided to stop at the Chelsea Pub for dinner and it was the perfect spots for all of us to sit outside and enjoy nice food and company, and for some of us to get our sillies out.

I think this has been the real big spark in my want to do more camping and do some canoe camping and oh my goodness this plus my bike hoarding habit will be A Problem.

On this day:

In 2013 – oh yes yes yes
In 2011 – I got a beautiful bike – our time together was too short
In 2007 – I need to remember to use chipotle in my cooking more often.
In 2006 – I met my uncle for the first time


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