the future is now

I was listening to music on my iphone on some speakers that synch up using bluetooth. Then I hopped out to go to the corner store but still wanted to listen to this music so I popped in my headphones and continued on my way.

So anyway, I just walked in my door and the music suddenly dropped out of my headphones and just as I thought WHAT THE F the blue tooth speakers picked up the signal and the song continued in super loud glory.

This just feels like I live in the jetsons.

On this day:

in 2010 – adorable Bobby
in 2009 – Bobbby’s first plane ride
in 2008 – and more Bobby
in 2007 – I was married for a year
in 2005 – dog snores


art smart part fart

It is finally happening. It’s finally the week ending with a trip to the dream cabin with Terri.

I’m planning on bringing all my wood carving stuff, water colour painting stuff and at least two paper journals.

I’m planning on communing with nature, communing with myself and communing with my good friend. I love where our conversations go when we aren’t distracted by other people, or events or tasks.

I love art but I don’t feel like an artist. Maybe I’m more of an art facilitator? I model for artists anyhow.

My art is me. I guess I am performance art. My focus is to make myself happier and wiser and with a rich soul. The medium is my interaction with myself vs my interaction with others. I’ll know I’m done working on this piece of art when it’s no longer a performance or an exercise and is just IS.

Art is expression. Art is communicating thoughts and emotion. Art is visceral and honest.

On this day:

In 2009 – a guest post!


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Maybe I have seasons.

Maybe summer is about DOING! and winter is about deep internal growth that means I need to pull the things that are deep inside of me out through my mouth and my fingertips.

I’ve done so many things over the warm months. And just like I need time to process and reflect and re-energize in my day to day life, maybe the colder months are when I need to do that for my long-term soul. The spring and autumn are about the transition between these two states.

I’m old enough to be noticing these patterns in myself. It is good to do it, and to work with my natural flow. This is how I can optimize my human experience.

On this day:

in 2013 – all my secret stuff
in 2007 - I get really excited about voting, it seems
in 2006 – It did rain a little
in 2005 - Sore Loser


Continuous Consent

{EDIT}I had originally posted this as a protected entry because I was worried about how it would make the other person involved feel. I have removed any indication of the person’s name and I feel that it’s fair of me to openly discuss the happenings of my life. 

 

Last night I had a 2nd date with someone that I thought was pretty cool. But I know myself and our date time was after sunset so I had Gen promise to come out of the house with me beforehand so I wouldn’t cancel in favour of being in my pj’s looking at porn on Tumblr.

She and I went to Raw Sugar and it ended up being Beats and Boards and the music was so good that I was chair dancing, and I had a beer, and a whoopie pie, and a boozy hot chocolate. Then my date arrived and the three of us had an enjoyable time chatting and being silly and being serious. Then we all left and Gen went home and I went to his place.

We went to his place and had some fun sex. It was fun because we were laughing and joking around pretty much throughout everything.  At the start we had a talk about our respective safe sex practices, sexual boundaries that are non-negotiable and things that are stuff that can happen later down the road, so that was good to set the tone and feel safe within the limits.
At the end he asked me how I rationalized him coming in me (because I had previously stated that a penis in my vagina MUST have a condom on it and that I do not want any semen in my body) and WHAT THE FUCK? Turns out, near the end, he took off the condom (without me noticing) and we did some other stuff and then had sex again and he came. I had not at all realized he had taken it off and he did not say anything about it until after.

I immediately got dressed and went home and got in the shower and washed myself out as best I could and cried and cried while Shawn was just with me in the bathroom, being an awesome partner.

This morning I got a text message from the date:

IMG_6377

IMG_6378


UGH

 

Like, it’s so fucking easy to just be all “whoops” when you are not the one who has to deal with any of the possible repercussions. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Actually NO. NOBODY FUCK YOU.

This is a feminist/consent-preaching guy.

He was SO SORRY about it and HE WAS FEELING BAD but started off with “I had a fun time! Thanks!” and not something like “Wow I feel really awful about what happened last night. How are you feeling?” etc.

GAHHHHHHHHHH

On this day:

in 2010 – bitching for the cure
in 2009 - sometimes I bite my nails but WAY WAY less now that I’m not constantly stressed out
in 2008 - tomato leg!
in 2007 - genital tricks
in 2005 - I really miss this Pilates class. It was awesome


I’m basically a reverse vampire.

Really it’s true, except for the sucking human blood part.

I recently made a post on Facebook about my worry about how I would cope with winter.

I am really worried about my potential state of mind come winter. I do not know how I will deal with so much indoor time

Will I need to take up winter sports? I did try snowshoeing last winter and it was fun despite the snow’s insistence on trying to suck my entire body into its depths…

 

But really, I don’t think it’s about coping with winter as a series of weather phenomena. I think it’s just dealing with how much DARK there is.

I was also thinking about naps and I just don’t take them. I feel so bummed about missing out on daylight hours to do something like SLEEPING. It’s really only acceptable to me when sick.

And in winter it is dark EARLY and if I’m already home, motivating myself to leave home in the dark is next to impossible. If I’m not home yet, I can go do night stuff no problem.

Well I’m glad I know this about myself now. I mean, I’ve known bits and pieces of this but all together this makes sense and I can incorporate that knowledge into my plans-making.

 

On this day:

in 2005 – the band was never booked, nor was the honeymoon


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